The Marauder Singing Contest (The Rematch!)
by Ariana Black
Summary: At long long last, the final reults are in! See who you chose to win the Singing Contest.
1. We Are The Champions

A/N- Okay, all your begging convinced me to do a sequel, so back by very popular demand, here it is!  Now that I know what I'm doing, there will be more categories and more songs.  If anyone has ideas for Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw songs, I'd appreciate it, I don't have very many for them.  

And now, for the rules (mostly, we need to remind Sirius, cuz he doesn't like following them    _Sirius-Hey!) _

1.  People can enter as many times as they like, whether it be as a solo, duet, or group.

2.  There will be absolutely no profanities in the lyrics (::cough::Sirius::cough::)

3.  Complaints about costumes or anything else should be directed to Lord Voldemort, who will respond with the appropriate curse (Voldemort- AVADA KEDAVRA!  AVADA KEDAVRA!  Me- Voldemort, heel!  Voldemort- ::whimpers and retreats::)

4.  There are new categories this time.  Songs will be categorized as either a Solo, Duet, or Group song.  Each category will have its own set of winners.

5.  I will try to do the requests you make, but as most of my music is from soundtracks or American Country Music, my knowledge of other songs is rather limited.  So, please forgive me, if I do your request, if I screw up the song.

Anyway, on with the show!  It starts with the Marauders victory song in the Common Room, just cuz I liked the suggestion (from chelsea I believe, if there were more, forgive me for not mentioning you), but couldn't think of a better place to put it.

"Song, song, song." The other Gryffindors chanted as the Marauders and Lily walked into the Common Room.

"As if you four needed any more praise." Lily sighed.

"We can always use more praise." Sirius protested.

"Sirius, if your head were any bigger, it'd be declared a continent."

"Why Lily, you wound me." Sirius said, faking a pout.

"Good.  Your ego needs a few holes in it, to let out all that hot air your full of."

"Um, how did she start winning this?" Sirius asked. "I'm the one who's supposed to be winning."

"In your dreams Padfoot." Remus said, rolling his eyes.

"Actually, my dreams are much more fun.  And usually involve half the girls in our year." Sirius added with a sly grin.

"I don't want to know." Remus said, burying his face in his hands.

"Well, before Sirius goes on to describe these fantasies of his, I say we obey the rather loud chanting crowd and sing." James interrupted.

"What song?" Peter asked.

"Just follow my lead." James grinned, jumping up on one of the table.

"Did you just get a chill up your spine when he said that?" Peter asked Remus.  Sirius was already climbing up onto another table as James had, grinning like a maniac.

"Yes actually." Remus replied, reluctantly copying the other two Marauders.

"Just checking."

James-

I've paid my dues  
Time after time  
  


Sirius-

I've done my sentence  
But committed no crime

_            Lily burst out laughing at this point._

  
Remus-

And bad mistakes  
I've made a few  
  


Peter-

I've had my share of sand  
Kicked in my face  
  


James-

But I've come through  
And I need to go on and on and on and on  
  


All-  
We are the champions - my friends  
And we'll keep on fighting till the end  
We are the champions  
We are the champions  
Snape is a loser  
Cuz we are the champions of the school  
  


Remus-  
I've taken my bows  
And my curtain calls  
  


Sirius-

You've bought me fame and fortune  
And everything that goes with it  
  


James-

I thank you all  
But it's been no bed of roses no pleasure cruise  
  


Peter-

I consider it a challenge before the whole human race  
And I ain't gonna lose  
  


All-

And I need to go on and on and on and on  
  
We are the champions - my friend  
And we'll keep on fighting till the end  
We are the champions  
We are the champions  
Malfoy's a loser  
And we are the champions of the school  
  
We are the champions - my friend  
And we'll keep on fighting till the end  
We are the champions  
We are the champions  
No time for losers  
'Cause we are the champions

"You four are such idiots." Lily sighed, even though she was smiling.

"Why thank you Lily, I'll take that as a compliment." Sirius grinned.

"You do that."

"Shall we retreat to the dorm?" James asked. "We need to plot our next victory over the Slytherins."

"Ah yes.  I think we should attack them with dungbombs, and enchant a few chairs to attack them as well." Sirius said.

"I was talking about the rematch singing contest Padfoot." James blinked.

"So was I Prongs." Sirius grinned mischeiviously.


	2. Welcome Back My Friends

"It has come to my attention," Dumbledore began weeks later. "That the Slytherin house has challenged Gryffindor to a rematch of the singing contest we held recently.  And, as both houses have agreed, the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw houses will also be welcome to participate."

            It hadn't taken much work to convince Dumbledore to hold a rematch actually.  He seemed to think it was an excellent way to liven up the school year.  Besides, the friendly rivalry of the contest prevented them (usually) from casting spells and pranks on one another, if only temporarily.  He'd even managed to scrape together prizes for it.  First place would be a shopping spree at Honeydukes (the owner of Honeydukes was very gracious in offering this).  The Marauders, as the defending champions, were allowed to go first.

"We will begin tonight with The Marauders." Dumbledore smiled. "They will be singing Welcome Back My Friends."

James-

Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends  
We're so glad you could attend  
Come inside! Come inside!

Sirius-  
There behind a glass is a real blade of grass  
be careful as you pass.  
Move along! Move along!  
  


Remus-  
Come inside, the show's about to start  
guaranteed to blow your head apart  
Rest assured you'll get your money's worth  
The greatest show in Heaven, Hell or Earth.  
  


All-

You've got to see the show, it's a dynamo.  
You've got to see the show, it's rock and roll ....  
  


Peter-  
Soon the Gypsy Queen in a glaze of Vaseline  
Will perform on guillotine  
What a scene! What a scene!  
  


Remus-

Next upon the stand will you please extend a hand  
to Alexander's Ragtime Band  
Roll up! Roll up! Roll up!  
See the show!  
  


Sirius-  
Performing on a stool we've a sight to make you drool  
Seven virgins and a mule!  
Keep it cool. Keep it cool.  
  


James-

We would like it to be known the exhibits that were shown  
were exclusively our own,  
All our own. All our own.

All-  
Come and see the show! Come and see the show! Come and see the show!  
See the show!

"Thank you Marauders." Dumbledore smiled as they exited the stage.  "And now, for our next contestants...


	3. If You Want It To Be Good Girl

A/N- Since I seem to be getting so many requests, here's what I think I'll do.  The ones I really like will be included in this one, so go ahead and keep making them.  Then, when I finish this one, all the requests that were made that I haven't done will be compiled into another fic, which will be nothing but your requests.  So please, don't be offended if I don't use them in this fic, because I will try to use them in the other one when this is finished.  Just so you know, I have plenty of songs for Gryffindor.  What I _really need are songs for Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw.  I only have about three each for them._

"...Severus Snape, Lucius Malfoy, Christopher Crabbe, and George Goyle singing If You Want It To Be Good Girl (Get Yourself A Bad Boy)."

            Crabbe and Goyle are just singing back up 1) because I don't like them much anyway and 2) because they're probably too stupid to remember many lyrics anyway.

Lucius-

If you want it to be good girl  
Get yourself a... bad boy  
  


Severus-  
If you want it to be wild  
Gotta know just who to dial baby  
That's me

_            Lily and the Marauders are just barely able to stifle their laughter._

Lucius-  
If you really like it hot  
Get someone who hits the spot  
Honey, oh yes  
  


Severus-  
And if you wanna get it done  
Then you gotta get then one  
The one who's got it goin' on  
  


Lucius-  
If you wanna make it last  
Gotta know just who to ask  
Baby's gotta be the best  
And that's me  
  


            _Just when they thought they'd calmed down, the Marauders snorted in laughter again._

All-  
 If you want it to be good girl  
Get yourself a... bad boy  
If you really want it good girl  
Get yourself a... bad boy  
Yeah like it could be  
Would be  
Yeah like it should be  
If you want it to be good girl  
Get yourself a... bad boy  
  


Severus-  
If you like it innovative  
Better get someone creative  
Honey, yes  
And if you want it to be jammin'  
Gotta get somebody slammin'  
Baby, oh yes  
  


Lucius-  
And if you wanna get it done  
Then you gotta get then one  
The one who's got it goin' on  
  
If you wanna make it last  
Gotta know just who to ask  
Baby's gotta be the best  
And that's me  
  


All-  
If you want it to be good girl  
Get yourself a... bad boy  
If you really want it good girl  
Get yourself a... bad boy  
Yeah like it could be  
Would be  
Yeah like it should be  
If you want it to be good girl  
Get yourself a... bad boy  
  


Lucius-  
Now listen  
  


Crabbe and Goyle-

These are things  
  


Severus-

Your mama shouldn't know  
  


Crabbe and Goyle-

These are things  
  


Lucius-

I really wanna show   
  


Crabbe and Goyle-

These are things  
  


Lucius and Severus-

I wanna show you how  
So won't you let me show  
You right now  
Oohh baby  
  


Severus-  
And if you wanna get it done  
Then you gotta get then one  
The one who's got it goin' on  
  


_            The five Gryffindors are literally crying in silent laughter by this point._

Lucius-  
If you wanna make it last  
Gotta know just who to ask  
Baby's gotta be the best  
And that's me  
  


            _Sirius fell out of his chair laughing.  Luckily for him, the music is too loud to hear him._

All-  
If you want it to be good girl  
Get yourself a ba-a-a-d boy, that's right  
If you really want it good girl  
Gotta get yourself a bad boy  
If you really want it, if you really want it  
Get him like it could be, would be  
Yeah, like it should be  
If you want it to be good, gotta be like it should  
  


Severus and Lucius-  
But if you really want it good 

If you really want it good  
If you really want it good

If you really want it good   
  


"C-can't stop laughing." Sirius choked, falling back into his seat.  Luckily, the Slytherin house was applauding, so no one heard Lily and the Marauders laughing.

"Hey, look who's up next." Peter said, pointing to the stage.


	4. Dancing Queen

A/N- New chapter!  Thanks to everyone has sent me suggestions.  I wish I could use all of them, but if I do, this thing may never end.  But if I don't use your suggestion here, I promise to in the all request fic I do, which will start as soon as this one ends.  So until then, keep sending me your suggestions.  I need Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw songs though, I have more than enough for Gryffindor and Slytherin.

"And now we have Narcissa Stevens, Rita Skeeter, and Sybil Trelawney singing Dancing Queen." Dumbledore announced.

"Ravenclaw Loonies." Sirius muttered under his breath.  Lily elbowed him in the side.  He uttered a loud Oomph noise, and fell silent for some reason.  James, Peter, and Remus had a very hard time trying not to laugh.

All-

You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life  
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the Dancing Queen  
  


Narcissa-  
Friday night and the lights are low  
Looking out for the place to go  
  


Rita-

Where they play the right music, getting in the swing  
You come in to look for a king  
  


Sybil-

Anybody could be that guy  
Night is young and the music's high  
With a bit of rock music, everything is fine  
You're in the mood for a dance  
And when you get the chance...  
  


_            Apparently, Sirius hasn't given up.  He's now chanting "Ravenclaw Loonies" under his breath.  Luckily for him, Lily can't hear him over the music._

  
All-

You are the Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only seventeen  
Dancing Queen, feel the beat from the tambourine  
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life  
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the Dancing Queen  
  


Narcissa-  
You're a teaser, you turn 'em on  
Leave them burning and then you're gone  
  


_            "Ooomph!" said Sirius.  Lily has finally heard him (unfortunately for him)._

Rita-

Looking out for another, anyone will do  
You're in the mood for a dance  
And when you get the chance...  
  


All-  
You are the Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only seventeen  
Dancing Queen, feel the beat from the tambourine  
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life  
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the Dancing Queen  
  
Dig in the Dancing Queen...  
Dig in the Dancing Queen...  
Dig in the Dancing Queen...   
  


"James." Sirius whined, rubbing his now sore side. "Lily hurt me."

"What do you expect me to do about it?" James asked. "You brought it on yourself by annoying her."

"I didn't annoy her.  All I was doing was saying Ravenclaw Loonies."

"Despite the fact I've told you several times to stop." Lily said, glaring at him.  At the sight of this glare, Sirius thought better of opening his mouth again.

"Looks like the Hufflepuffs are going now." Remus interrupted, hoping to restore peace through distracting them.

"I hope they're better than last time." Sirius muttered.  Lily promptly elbowed him in the side once again.


	5. Workin'

A/N- I finally found a good song for the Hufflepuffs to sing!  The song comes from Fraggle Rock (Whoohoo!  That show totally ruled!)  Oh, and to everyone who makes requests, I apologize if I don't get around to them in this fic.  I can only make this so long, or we'd never get a chance to vote.  But at least if I don't get to it in this one, you'll probably get a chance to see it in the all request fic I do later on (I know, I keep saying this don't I?  I just want to make sure I don't upset anyone).  Anyway, I couldn't figure out a word to use instead of Fraggles in the song, so I just left it alone.  It still has some rather amusing effects.  I just wanted to use the song, though it may be confusing to someone who hasn't seen the show or heard the song, but oh well.

"Owww...." Sirius moaned as he rubbed his aching side. "Damn it woman, that _hurt."_

"What did you call me?" Lily asked, her eyes flashing dangerously.

"Absolutely nothing." He said quickly.

"I heard him, he called you 'woman'." Remus said.  Sirius didn't get elbowed this time, she bopped him in the head instead.

"Thanks a _lot Moony.  Whose side are you on anyway?" Sirius asked._

"Lily's of course."

"You're all against me." Sirius complained.  Meanwhile, Dumbledore had walked onto the stage to announce the next entry.

"Let's see, now we have Amos Diggory, Jonathon Finch-Fletchley, and Harvey Abbott singing Workin'." He announced.  Pretty much the only people applauding were the other Hufflepuffs, though Ravenclaw and Gryffindor managed some polite applause.  Slytherin would have rather been attacked by rampaging Hippogriffs than applaud for a house other than theirs, but since no one really likes them anyway, it doesn't matter :)

"Please don't let them be awful.  My ears can't handle it." James said under his breath.

All-

Wake up in the morning, get yourself to work.

Fraggles never fool around, Fraggles never shirk.

            _"Fraggles?  What the Hell's a Fraggle?" Sirius asked._

_            "They're on a Muggle children's show." Lily replied. _

All-

You duty's always waiting, and duty must be done.

There's ping-pong games that must be played, 

And song's that must be sung.

Workin', workin', workin', workin',

Workin', workin', workin', workin',

Abbot-

I'd like to tell the story of what my work is for.

A tail of toil and gathering and radishes and more

Diggory-

But don't forget my mighty job, the lonely tough routine

I dive and crash and swim and splash to keep the water clean.

All-

Workin', workin', workin', workin',

Workin', workin', workin', workin',

Workin', workin', workin', workin',

Workin', workin', workin', workin',

Finch-Fletchley-

When I was a baby, pappy used to roam.

Mama told me, Sonny boy, your work won't be at home.

Go to where you're going, come back when you've been.

Get out that door, explore, explore, and bring back pink ice cream.

All-

And you'll be workin'

Workin', workin', workin', workin',

Workin', workin', workin', workin',

Diggory-

Give me work that's boring, boring to the core

A job that goes on much too long and then goes on some more.

Abbott-

The work I think  I'll work at,

Or else I think I won't

Well, its sort of something that you do,

Unless you maybe don't?

All-

And you'll be workin'.

Workin', workin', workin', workin',

Workin', workin', workin', workin', workin',

Wake up in the morning, get yourself to work

Fraggles never fool around, Fraggles never shirk

Your duty's always waiting, duty must be done.

There's ping-pong games that must be played,

And songs that must be sung

And you'll be workin'

Workin'....

Workin'....

Workin'....

"That was...." James began.

"Odd." Sirius finished.

"Yeah, what he said." James agreed.

"Oh honestly." Lily sighed.  "Would you four go up on stage and sing something?  You're starting to annoy me again."

"Love you too Lily." James smiled, kissing her cheek.

"You heard the woman, let's go sing." Sirius said, jumping up eagerly.  "Quick now, before the Slytherin gits beat us up there."

"Does anyone else think it's a good sign that he's so eager to do this?" Peter asked as they stood up.

"No." James and Remus replied in unison.


	6. Unusually Unusual

A/N- Just a quick one this time.  I just want to say I totally love this song, and finally found an excuse to use it here.  Besides, Lily's the one who told them to get up on stage, so they should be allowed to sing to her.

"And now we have Remus Lupin, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew singing Unusually Unusual.  And by the way, they say this song is in honor of Ms. Lily Evans, who quote 'told us to get up here and stop annoying her'." Dumbledore announced.  Lily blushed furiously, sinking down in her chair.  This was Sirius' idea, and she knew it.  She was going to get him back for this, and judging from the way he was grinning down at her, he expected her to.

Sirius-  
She introduced herself as Lily, said call me Caroline for short  
I just moved in three doors down so I wouldn't be the girl next door  
  


Peter-

And I knew the shoes she wasn't wearing fit her just right  
She said, "Hey, man did you know that somebody left your grass out in the yard all night?"  
  


All-  
She's unusually unusual  
Absolutely unpredictable  
  


James-

She's so different and that's what's wonderful  
She's unusually unusual  
And that's beautiful to me  
  


Remus-  
She had a tattoo above her ankle of a trident submarine  
She said it symbolizes awesome powers hidden deep within our dreams  
  


Peter-

And her diamond eyes, different in color, held me captive in their light  
And she said "Hey, man did you know we used to be brothers in some past life?"   
  


_            "Sirius, I'm going to kill you." Lily muttered, still blushing brightly._

All-

She's unusually unusual  
Absolutely unpredictable  
She's so different and that's what's wonderful  
She's unusually unusual  
And that's beautiful to me  
  
James-

Some people may think she's strange, a different cup of tea  
But she just does it for me  
  


All-  
She's unusually unusual  
Absolutely unpredictable  
  


Sirius-

She's so different and that's what's wonderful  
  


All-

She's unusually unusual  
And that's beautiful to me

"So, what did you think?" Sirius asked innocently as they sat down.  Lily reached over, grabbed his ear, and stood up, forcing him to as well.

"I think we had better go outside, as I don't think the rest of the school wants to see me torture you." She replied, leading him by the ear towards the back of the Hall.

"Mommy." Sirius said as he was dragged along.

"Oh no." Peter said, nodding towards the stage.  "Look who's trying another song."

"Oh no, not Slytherin again." James moaned. "Lily and Sirius will be gald they miss this."

"Though I don't know how glad Sirius is going to be once Lily is through with him." Remus laughed.


	7. Bad Reputation

"Let's see, what are the greasy gits going to attempt to sing this time?" James asked.

"The key word there being attempt." Remus smiled.

"James, do you remember how to transfigure ear plugs?" Peter asked

"Nope, sorry."

"Damn."

"And now we have Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape singing Bad Reputation." Dumbledore announced.

            You know, I really have no idea what costumes they're wearing, so why don't you just picture them in whatever you like best, and I'll think up costumes for the next chapter's entry, okay :)

Lucius-  
I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation  
You're living in the past it's a new generation  
A boy can do what he wants to do and that's  
What I'm gonna do  
An' I don't give a damn ' bout my bad reputation  
  
Both-

Oh no not me  
  


Severus-  
An' I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation  
Never said I wanted to improve my station  
An' I'm only doin' good  
When I'm havin' fun  
An' I don't have to please no one  
An' I don't give a damn  
'Bout my bad reputation  
  


Both-  
Oh no, not me  
Oh no, not me  
  


Lucius-  
I don't give a damn  
'Bout my reputation  
I've never been afraid of any deviation  
  


Severus-

An' I don't really care  
If ya think I'm strange  
I ain't gonna change  
  


Both-

An' I'm never gonna care  
'Bout my bad reputation  
  


Oh no, not me  
Oh no, not me  
  
Lucius-

Pedal boys!  
  


            "What the Hell's that supposed to mean?" James asked.

  
Severus- 

An' I don't give a damn  
'Bout my reputation  
The world's in trouble  
There's no communication

Lucius-  
An' everyone can say  
What they want to say  
It never gets better anyway  
So why should I care  
'Bout a bad reputation anyway

Both-  
Oh no, not me  
Oh no, not me  
  
I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation  
You're living in the past  
It's a new generation  
An' I only feel good  
When I got no pain  
An' that's how I'm gonna stay  
An' I don't give a damn  
'Bout my bad reputation  
  
Oh no, not me  
Oh no, not  
Not me, not me  
  


"Umm...that was weird." James said at last.

"I agree." Peter said.

"Lily and Sirius don't seem to be back yet.  Should we be worried?" Remus asked.

"They aren't?" James asked, looking around.

"Wait, there they are, getting ready to go onstage." Peter said, pointing across the Hall.  His jaw suddenly dropped, causing Remus and James to look over for the cause.

"Oh my God..." Remus said, barely suppressing a laugh.

"What is he wearing?" James asked, failing to supress a laugh (hey, not everyone has Remus' self control).

"Poor, poor Padfoot." Peter laughing almost as hard as James (yeah right, like he has self control.  You gotta be kidding me if you thought).

            Across the Hall, Sirius could hear them laughing.  He looked pleadingly at Lily not to make him go onstage with her.

"Sorry Sirius." she replied. "You should have known I'd get you back."

"But this is cruel and unusual punishment." He pleaded.

"Unusually Unusual punishment?" she asked innocently.  She grabbed his arm and pulled him up towards the stage. "Its either this or I beat the Hell out of you, and you know I will."

"I think the beating would be less painful." He murmured.


	8. Girls Just Want To Have Fun

A/N- Hehehehe. Everyone gets to see Lily's revenge today. I was going to make you wait a little longer, but I really wanted to see everyone's reaction to it, so I'm loading it today. Though, after this, I doubt sirius will be annoying Lily much :)  
  
As soon as Sirius and Lily stepped onto the stage, the Marauders weren't the only ones laughing. They weren't doing it to be mean or anything (well, the Slytherins were, but that's just them), it was just the sight of what Sirius was wearing (drum roll please). Lily had forced him to wear a neon pink mini-skirt with black tights (come on girls, we all know we want to see him in tights!) and a bright blue, V-neck blouse. She'd even pulled his hair back in a red scrunchie with white heart on it. Lily was wearing an identical oputfit, though it looked much funnier on Sirius. A few wolf whistles rang out from the audience, but no one was quite sure whether they were meant for Lily or Sirius. Sirius was blushing almost as brightly as the lipstick Lily had put on him, silently vowing never to do anything to upset Lily again, in case she thought of something worse to do to him next time. Though, what could be worse than public humiliation, he didn't know.  
  
"P-poor Padfoot." James laughed. He knew he should feel sorry for his friend, but seeing him in that outfit made him want to laugh more than pity him. Finally, the audience managed to calm down. Until Dumbledore announced what song they were going to sing.  
  
"Ahem. Well, as you can see, Lily Evans and Sirius Black will be singing next." Dumbledore said, trying hard not to show his own amusement. "They will be singing Girls Just Want To Have Fun."  
  
Instantly, the school broke into laughter again. Sirius had his face buried in his hands, as if he thought that if he couldn't see the rest of the school, they couldn't see him. Or perhaps he was trying to pretend it was all a nightmare, right up there with showing up for class naked, or taking a test you haven't studied for. Lily nudged him in the ribs, forcing him back to reality, and they began to sing.  
  
Sirius-  
  
I come home in the morning light  
my mother says when you gonna live your life right  
oh mother dear we're not the fortunate ones  
and girls they want to have fun  
oh girls just want to have fun  
  
Lily-  
the phone rings in the middle of the night  
my father yells what you gonna do with your life  
oh daddy dear you know you're still number one  
but girls they want to have fun  
oh girls just want to have -  
  
James, Remus, and Peter are practically in tears at this point, along with the rest of the school, and even a few of the teachers.  
  
Both-  
that's all they really want  
some fun  
when the working day is done  
girls - they want to have fun  
oh girls just want to have fun  
  
"James, help me! Get me down from here, I'm begging you!" Sirius shouted from the stage, as Lily pulled him back from the edge of the stage and forced him to continue the performance.  
  
"You aren't getting away that easily, Sirius." Lily grinned.  
  
Sirius-  
  
some boys take a beautiful girl  
and hide her away from the rest of the world  
I want to be the one to walk in the sun  
oh girls they want to have fun  
oh girls just want to have -  
  
Both-  
that's all they really want  
some fun  
when the working day is done  
girls - they want to have fun  
oh girls just want to have fun,  
they want to have fun,  
they want to have fun...  
  
"Kill me." Sirius begged as they sat down again. Lily had allowed him to transfigure his clothes back to normal. "Just kill me, so I don't have to suffer any more humiliation."  
  
"Well, you should have known better." Remus pointed out. "We warned you how many times not to get Lily too angry?"  
  
"I never thought she'd do something like this to me." Sirius protested.  
  
"But you looked so adorable in that skirt." James teased.  
  
"Stuff it Prongs." Sirius snapped. He began blushing brightly again.  
  
"Hey, look who's going to sing next." Lily said suddenly, glancing up at the stage.  
  
"Oh good Lord." Remus moaned.  
  
It was Gilderoy Lockhart. 


	9. I'm Too Sexy

A/N- Valentine's Day Special Edition!  Two Chapters for the price of one!  The first is the promised Gilderoy Lockhart one, the second is a special Valentine's Day song.  Oh, and I apologize for Gilderoy's actions, he's a git and managed to get on stage before I could stop him :)  And if anyone out there likes Lockhart, my apologies, I tend to go off a little on him in this.

"And now we have Gilderoy Lockhart singing I'm Too Sexy." Dumbledore announced.  This announcement was met with quiet groaning from the Slytherins, Gryffindors, Ravenclaws, and even a few Hufflepuffs, despite the fact that Lockhart _was a Hufflepuff (as if the idiot could be anything else)._

            Lockhart walked out on stage wearing a normal pair of pants and a muscle shirt, which might have actually looked good if he had muscles.  Instead, it just made him look like even more of a dork.  The Marauders were moaning and complaining quietly.  Lily, meanwhile, was whimpering, earning her odd looks from the other four.

"What's wrong Lily?" James asked.

"I know this song." She whimpered. "And believe me, you don't want to hear it."

"Exits are blocked, we can't escape." Sirius observed. 

"Is it really that bad?" Remus asked.

"The song itself isn't, just the fat that Lockhart's going to sing it."

"Speaking of which." Peter said, as Gilderoy began to sing.

Gilderoy-

I'm  too sexy for my cat, 

_            "The Git's not too sexy for anything." James mumbled._

too sexy for my cat, 

oh, pauvre pussy-cat! 

I'm too sexy for my cat, 

too sexy for my cat, 

oh, pauvre pussy-cat! 

_            "Make it stop!" Peter whimpered.  No one outside of the Marauders could hear him because of the music though. "Please make it stop!"_

_            Lily, meanwhile, was covering her ears with her hands.  James was humming loudly in a vain attempt to block out the sound.  Remus was doing the same, only he had the intelligence to cover his ears also.  Sirius was actually smiling, mostly because he'd cast a temporary deafness charm on himself, knowing it was one of the few charms Lily didn't know the counterspell to, so she couldn't take it off him and make him suffer too._

Gilderoy-

Pussycat!

Ba ba-ba ba, ba ba-ba ba 

Pussycat! 

I'm a model, 

you know what I mean? 

I do my little turn on the cat-walk, 

on the cat-walk,  

on the cat-walk,  

I shake my little tush on the cat-walk, yeah!

_            Lily is now whimpering loudly, like Peter, and has buried her head in the shoulder of the closest living person, which happened to be Peter.  He's too busy whimpering also to notice though._

I'm too shaky for my Stevens, 

too shaky for my Stevens,

too shaky by half! 

"I'm too sexy for the Fred,  

too sexy for the Fred."

Mister Parrot said. 

Mister Parrot said. 

Ba ba-ba ba, ba ba-ba ba 

I'm a model, 

you know what I mean? 

I do my little turn on the cat-walk, 

on the cat-walk, 

on the cat-walk,  

I shake my little tush on the cat-walk, yeah!

"Is it over yet?" Remus asked cautiously.

"I think so." James said, uncovering his ears.  Everyone stared at Sirius, who was still smiling.  They quickly figured out why though, as he couldn't seem to hear their questions.

"Cheater." Lily mumbled.

"Lily, come on." Tamika said, hurrying up to her with Molly. "It's our turn next."

"Oh, thanks for telling me." Lily said, jumping up. "Let's get up there then."

"What are you doing?" James asked curiously.

"You'll see." She smiled, kissing his cheek.


	10. My Valentine

A/N- Yes yes, I know.  Molly and Arthur were probably a lot older than the Marauders and therefore weren't at school with them.  But I included them in the last one, so oh well.  Besides, if people can make Arabella Figg as old as them, why can't I make Molly and Arthur their age :)  Also, I don't remember if this was requested or not, so if it was, you know who you are, and thanks for the request.  If it wasn't a request, I'm sure you'll still like it.

"Well, this ought to be good anyway." Remus said as Lily, Molly, and Tamika neared the stage. "They're pretty good singers."

"Oh, I'm not worried." James said.

"Are you trying to convince us or yourself?" Sirius asked, the deafness charm having worn off.

"C: all of the above." was the reply.

"Next up we have Lily Evans, Molly Richards, and Tamika Hansen singing My Valentine." Dumbledore announced. "They say this song is dedicated to James Potter, Arthur Weasley, and Frank Longbottom for 'being the best boyfriends in the world'."

"Aww, Jamesie's blushing." Sirius teased.  James responded by hitting him in the back of the head.

Lily-

If there were no words  
No way to speak  
I would still hear you  
  


Tamika-

If there were no tears  
No way to feel inside  
I'd still feel for you  
  


Molly-  
And even if the sun refused to shine  
Even if romance ran out of rhyme  
  


All-

You would still have my heart until the end of time  
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine  
  


Molly-  
All of my life  
I have been waiting for  
All you give to me  
  


Tamika-

You've opened my eyes  
And showed me how to love unselfishly  
  


Lily-  
I've dreamed of this a thousand times before  
But in my dreams I couldn't love you more

I will give you my heart  
Until the end of time...

Molly-  
You're all I need, 

Tamika-

my love, 

Lily-

my Valentine  
  


Tamika-  
And even if the sun refused to shine

Molly-  
Even if romance ran out of rhyme

Lily-  
You would still have my heart until the end of time  
  


All-

'Cause all I need is you, my Valentine  
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine

"That was beautiful." Remus complimented Lily as she sat back down with them.  Lily blushed brightly.

"Jamesie liked it too." Sirius added.

"Did you really like it?" Lily asked cautiously.

"I loved it.  Just like I love you." James smiled, leaning over to kiss her.

"We've lost him Moony, Wormtail." Sirius sighed. "He's gone into speaking mushy mode.  Our James is gone forever."

            James and Lily stopped kissing, but only because Sirius' comment had sent them into a fit of laughter.  The other Marauders joined them, laughing until the next entry came up.


	11. Thunder Rolls

"Oh no, not Snape." The five of them groaned in unison.  He glared down at them from the stage, but they weren't sure whether he had heard them or not.  He didn't normally have a reason for glaring at them, so it was entirely possible that he just happened to be glaring already when they said that.

"Looks like he's doing a solo." Lily remarked, seeing that no other Slytherins were joining him on stage.

"Hopefully, he'll sing so low we can't hear him." Sirius said.

"Padfoot, that wasn't funny the first thousand times you said it.  What makes you think it will be funny now?" James asked.

"Some things get better with time, Prongs." Sirius replied.

"That joke is not one of them." Remus told him.  Sirius responded by sticking his tongue out at him.

"And now." Dumbledore announced from the stage, drawing everyone's attention back to him. "We have Severus Snape singing Thunder Rolls."

Severus-

Three thirty in the morning,   
Not a soul in sight,   
The city's lookin' like a ghost town  
On a moonless summer night.   
Raindrops on the windshield,   
There's a storm moving in.   
He's headin' back from somewhere  
That he never should have been.   
And the thunder rolls.   
And the thunder rolls.   
  


            _"Do you think if I set his hair on fire from this distance that anyone would be able to pin it on me?" Sirius asked suddenly._

_            "Most definitely." James replied. "Especially considering McGonagall is looking this way."_

_            "Damn."_

  
Every light is burnin'   
In a house across town.   
She's pacin' by the telephone  
In her faded flannel gown.   
Askin' for miracle,   
Hopin' she's not right,   
Prayin' it's the weather   
That's kept him out all night.  
And the thunder rolls.   
And the thunder rolls.   
  


            _"I'm going to shoot myself if this lasts much longer." James sighed miserabley. "It was bad enough Lockhart managed to get upstage."_

_            "How did he manage that anyway?" Peter asked. "Most of the Hufflepuffs don't like him any more than we do."_

_            "Guys, be quiet.  McGonagall is glaring daggers at us." Remus hissed._

  
The thunder rolls  
And the lightnin' strikes.  
Another love grows cold   
On a sleepless night,   
As the storm blows on   
Out of control   
Deep in her heart   
The thunder rolls.   
  
She's waitin' by the window   
When he pulls into the drive   
She rushes out to hold him   
Thankful he's alive   
But on the wind and rain  
A strange new perfume blows   
And the lightnin' flashes in her eyes  
And he knows that she knows   
And the thunder rolls   
And the thunder rolls   
  


            _"Somebody's in trouble." Sirius said in a sing song voice. "Betcha the woman blows him away."_

_            "Huh?" James asked._

_            "In the song." Sirius explained._

_            "You're actually listening?"_

_            "Only because Remus won't let us talk."_

_            "Even though you are right now?" Remus interrupted._

  
The thunder rolls  
And the lightnin' strikes.  
Another love grows cold   
On a sleepless night,   
As the storm blows on   
Out of control   
Deep in her heart   
The thunder rolls.   
  
She runs back down the hallway   
To the bedroom door   
She reaches for the pistol

            _"Told you."__ Sirius said proudly._

  
Kept in the dresser drawer   
Tells the lady in the mirror   
He won't do this again  
Cause tonight will be the last time  
She'll wonder where he's been   
  


The thunder rolls  
And the lightnin' strikes.  
Another love grows cold   
On a sleepless night,   
As the storm blows on   
Out of control   
Deep in her heart   
The thunder rolls.   
  


"You know, Snape really _does have a nice singing voice." Lily remarked as he walked off stage.  Everyone stared blankly at her. "What?"_

"Do you realize what you just said?" James asked.

"What?  All I said was that Snape has-Oh God!  Did that really come out of my mouth?" she cried in horror.

"Yes, actually." Remus answered.

"Oh, bad thoughts." She moaned, burying her face in her hands. "I must be losing my mind."

"It's okay, Lils." Peter said reassuringly. "Hanging around James and Sirius as much as you do, it's not surprising."

"Hey!" James and Sirius protested in unison.

"A zinger from Peter.  Congratulations Wormtail." Remus complimented.

"Incoming!" Sirius cried, pointing up on the stage, where Narcissa was walking on stage again.

"What do you think this is?  A bombing raid?" James asked him.

"It will be, once she bombs out on this song." Sirius grinned.

"Sirius." Everyone else moaned, at his terrible joke.


	12. Kiss This

A/N- I know, I've been being mean to Sirius.  But it's so much fun, even if I do love him.  I think I have all the songs I need for the fic now, so please hold off on your requests.  I really appreciate everyone who sent suggestions in though.  Anyway, on with the next song!

"Sirius, if you make one more bad joke, I won't be held responsible for my actions." James said.

"Oh, come on, that one was funny." Sirius protested.

"Yeah, about as funny as rubbing salt in an open wound." Remus replied.  Sirius just stuck his tongue out at Remus and pouted.

"Hey, Narcissa is singing a solo." Lily observed.  Then, before Sirius could say anything, she added "And don't you dare say it, Sirius."

            Sirius responded by pouting even more.  Everyone knew he was just faking it.  It was physically impossible for Sirius not to be happy.  Just like it was physically impossible to make Voldemort hula dance (Believe me, I've tried.  He just won't co-operate!)  Sure enough, seconds later, Sirius was grinning broadly again.

"And now we have Narcissa Stevens singing Kiss This." Dumbledore announced. "And she says it is dedicated to her boyfriend, Lucius Malfoy."

"Kiss this?  That leaves a lot to the imagination." Sirius grinned.  He was saved from anyone retaliating though, because the music had just started.

Narcissa-

She was a woman on a mission   
Here to drown a man, forget him

So I set her up again to watch him drown 

She had just about succeeded   
When that low down no good cheatin  
Good for nothing came struttin' through the crowd

Oh he was layin' it on so thick   
He never missed a lick   
Professing his never ending love 

            "Hey, this guy sounds a lot like Malfoy." Peter said suddenly.

            "No, you think?" Sirius asked sarcastically. "Could that be why she dedicated it to him?"

Oh but I never will forget, when she stood up and said   
Well I guess you think we're just gonna kiss and makeup don't ya?  
(That's when she said) 

Why don't you kiss...kiss this   
And I don't mean on my rosy red lips 

            "Where then?" Remus asked. (Poor innocent Remus.)

  
Me and You, oh we're through   
And there's only one thing left for you to do   
You just come on over here one last time   
Pucker up and close your eyes, and kiss this...good bye 

            _"Malfoy doesn't look too happy, does he?" Lily whispered to James, pointing across the room to where the Slytherins were sitting.  Lucius had turned slightly green and had a very worried look on his face._

_            "He must be reading the very obvious message in this song." James whispered back._

Well the next thing I recall   
She had him back against the wall   
Chewing him like a bulldog on a bone   
She was putting him in his place   
And I mean right up in his face   
Draggin' him down a list of done me wrongs 

It was just about now that the crowd gathered round   
They came to watch him pay for his every sin   
She called him everything under the sun   
And when we thought that she was done   
She revved back and she let him have it again Man

She said...she said   
Why don't you kiss...kiss this   
And I don't mean on my rosy red lips   
Me and You, oh we're through   
And there's only one thing left for you to do   
You just come on over here one last time   
Pucker up and close your eyes, and kiss this...good bye 

Kiss this   
And I don't mean on my rosy red lips   
Me and You, oh we are through   
And there's only one thing left for you to do   
You just come on over here one last time   
Pucker up and close your eyes, and kiss this...good bye   
C'ya

"You know, I think they've broken up again." Sirius said as the final notes played.

"Looks like it.  What is this, the fourth time this week?" Remus asked.

"Fifth." Peter answered. "And it's only Thursday."

"Two more times and I win the pool." James said excitedly.

"You have a pool going about them?" Lily asked incredulously.

"Yup, with the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs." Sirius replied. "Moony won last week, when they broke up three times."

"Oh God." Lily mumbled.

"You called?" Sirius grinned.

"I give up." Lily moaned, burying her face in her hands. "I absolutely give up."

"Looks like this one may last." Peter said, nodding to where Lucius was now trying to talk to Narcissa.  She shouted something, but they couldn't hear what, pulled her arm out of his grasp, and stormed away.

"He may be right." James said. "Usually, she gives him a chance to talk."

"Anyone remember who had five times?" Peter asked.

"MacMillan, I think." Remus replied.

"I wonder who's up next?" Lily wondered aloud.

"We are." James announced. "Come on Sirius, now or never."

"Should we be worried?" Peter asked Remus and Lily after James and Sirius had walked off.

"Yes." They replied in unison.


	13. Best of Friends

A/N- Okay, lemme explain a bit about why I chose this song.  When I was looking around for song's for this fic, my brother was watching the Fox and the Hound on the VCR.  I heard this song playing and thought "Oh my God, that is perfect for James and Sirius!" Okay, maybe not those exact words, but it was pretty close.  I thought briefly about making Lily sing this, since in the movie it's a woman that sings it, but I needed more duets, so James and Sirius won in the end.  Anyway, on with the story, I hope you'll like it.

"This is going to be...interesting." Remus said at last.  

"Okay, that is just too freaky." Peter said, as James and Sirius began to walk up on stage.  And here's why:

            First of all, James had taken off his glasses.  He had somehow managed to convince Sirius to cast a spell to shorten his normally shoulder length hair, promising him it would only be for this song.  In fact, Sirius' hair now looked almost exactly like James': short and messy.  James was wearing a black shirt and tight dark green pants (especially for Lily), while Sirius was wearing a dark green shirt, and tight black pants (okay girls, all together now ::happy sigh::).  From a distance, they could easily have been mistaken for twins.

"Um, Peter?" Remus began.

"Yeah?"

"Help me with Lily.  She seems to have gone into a trance."  Lily gave a small jump when they both shook her, trying to wake her up, then immediately blushed a bright red.

"And now we have Sirius Black and James Potter singing Best of Friends (From The Fox and the Hound)" Dumbledore announced.  Grinning like mad, the two boys took their places on stage.

James-

When you're the best of friends

Having so much fun together

You're not even aware, you're such a funny pair

You're the best of friends

Sirius-

Life's a happy game

You could clown around forever

Neither one of you sees, your natural boundaries

Life's one happy game

Both-

If only the world wouldn't get in the way

If only people would just let you play

They say you're both being fools

You're breaking all the rules

They can't understand your magic wonderland

Hu-hu-hu

James, leaning his arm on Sirius' shoulder-

When you're the best of friends

Sharing all that you discover

When that moment has passed, will that friendship last?

Sirius-

Who can say if there's a way?

Oh I hope . . . I hope it never ends

Both-

'Cause you're the best of friends

            Sirius had immediately returned his hair to normal length once the song ended.  James had tried to walk off stage without using his glasses, but ended up stumbling on the stairs and crashing into Sirius.  The two had ended up in a heap on the floor, but in true James and Sirius style, they jumped up, took a bow, and thus made it seem as though they had meant to fall the entire time (though James did immediately put his glasses on again).

"Oh, that was so sweet." Lily cried as the two returned to their seats.  

"Though you two dressing alike was just scary." Peter said.

"That was entirely James' idea." Sirius said, at the same time that James tried to blame him.

"Great minds think alike." Lily laughed.

"Then what's their excuse?" Remus asked innocently.

"Hey!" James and Sirius cried indignantly.


	14. What's Forever For?

"Hey, look you guys." Lily said, as she and Peter tried to hold James and Sirius back from killing Remus. "Tamika's going to sing."

"Tamika?" Sirius asked, shocked.  "Shy little Tamika?  Singing by herself?"

"Looks like it." Remus said, thankful they were no longer trying to strangle him.  He didn't know it yet, but James had just cast a Glue Charm on his chair.  He'd find out the next time he tried to stand up though.

            Timidly, Tamika walked out onto the stage.  Her boyfriend, Frank Longbottom, was sitting in the front row, silently encouraging her.

"And now we have Tamika Hansen singing What's Forever For." Dumbledore announced. 

"Malfoy is still trying to talk to Narcissa." Sirius noticed.  Narcissa was still ignoring him, talking in hushed tones to Snape. "I wonder if I could get to her before he manages to win her back?"

"You want to go out with her?" Remus asked incredulously. "Aren't you the one who dubbed her and her friends the Ravenclaw Loonies?  Not to mention the fact that you swore never to date anyone who had dated a Slytherin."

"She's female and she's single.  Therefore, she is fair game." Sirius replied with a grin.

"Sirius, be quiet." Lily hissed. "Tamika's about to start singing."

Tamika-

I've been looking at people   
And how they change with the times   
And lately all I've been seeing are people  
Throwing love away and losing their minds   
  
Or maybe it's me that's gone crazy  
'Cause I can't understand why   
All these lovers keep hurting each other  
When good love is so hard to come by   
  
So what's the glory in living?   
Doesn't anybody ever stay together anymore?  
And if love never lasts forever   
Then tell me what's forever for?  
  
I've been listening to people   
And they say love is the key   
And it's not my way to let them lead me astray   
It's only that I want to believe  
  
But I see love-hungry people   
Trying their best to survive   
While in their hands is a dying romance  
And they're not even trying to keep it alive   
  
So what's the glory in living?   
Doesn't anybody ever stay together anymore?   
And if love never lasts forever   
Tell me what's forever for?

"She has a really nice voice too." Peter said as they cheered for their fellow Gryffindor. "I wonder who'll be up next?"

"Nobody good, I can tell you that." Sirius spoke up.

"How do you know that?" Lily asked.

"Because Snape is walking towards the stage again."

"Oh God." Lily moaned.

"Yes?" Sirius asked.  Lily immediately hit him in the head. "Oww.  James, Lily hit me."

"You brought it on yourself, you know." James smiled.

"Did not."

"Did so."

"Did not."

"Did so."

"And the award for least mature argument goes to James and Sirius." Remus interrupted.

"Yay!" Sirius cried, immediately. "I'd like to thank everyone who made this possible, except James, because he's a git."

"Am not."

"Are so."

"Am not."

"Are so."

            Everyone else just sighed in frustration and covered their ears in an attempt to drown them out.


	15. I Wanna Talk About Me

"That's it, I've had it." Lily sighed, after nearly a minute of Sirius and James saying "am not, are so."  She stood up and grabbed them both by the ears, immediately ending the argument. "Am I going to have to separate you two?"

"No ma'am." The chorused, wincing slightly in pain.

"Glad to hear it.  Now behave yourselves." She said, sitting back down. 

"At least they made us forget that Snape was about to sing." Peter pointed out.

"Well, there is that." Lily admitted. "Though, he really does have a nice voice."

"Please stop saying that Lily.  It's really disturbing." James said.  Lily was about to reply, but Dumbledore was talking again, so she decided against it.

"Next we have Severus Snape singing I Wanna Talk About Me." Dumbledore announced. "And he says it is dedicated to Miss Narcissa Stevens.  He says, and I quote, I couldn't care less what you have to say about Lucius.  Please, just make up with him and stop complaining about him to me."

            Narcissa promptly turned a bright red as the rest of the school erupted into laughter.  The laughter died down as Severus walked onto stage and got ready to sing.  Okay, let's see, what costume should I put him in?  How about a pair of black jeans and black cowboy boots, with a semi-tight white t-shirt (you decide how tight you want it to be, I don't want to scar any non-Snape fans) and a white cowboy hat (hey, it's a country song, he _has to wear cowboy stuff).  _

Severus-

We talk about your work how your boss is a jerk 

We talk about your church and your head when it hurts 

We talk about the troubles you've been having with your brother 

About your daddy and your mother and your crazy ex-lover 

We talk about your friends and the places that you've been 

We talk about your skin and the dimples on your chin 

The polish on your toes and the run in your hose 

And God knows we're gonna talk about your clothes 

_            "Think he's tired of hearing from Narcissa?" Sirius asked innocently._

You know talking about you makes me smile 

But every once in awhile 

I wanna talk about me 

Wanna talk about I 

Wanna talk about number one 

Oh my me mind 

What I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see 

I like talking about you, usually, but occassionally 

I wanna talk about me 

I wanna talk about me 

_            "Well, someone's a bit conceited." Sirius smirked._

_            "Says the man whose ego has its own zip code." Remus smiled._

_            "Hey!" Sirius cried._

We talk about your dreams and we talk about your schemes 

your high school team and your moisturizer creme 

We talk about your nanna up in Muncie, Indiana 

We talk about your grandma down in Alabama 

We talk about your guys of every shape and size 

The ones that you despise 

_            "Malfoy." The Marauders said in unison._

and the ones you idolize 

_            "Also Malfoy." They said again._

We talk about your heart, about your brains and your smarts 

And your medical charts and when you start 

You know talking about you makes me grin 

But every now and then 

I wanna talk about me 

            "But no one else does." James spoke up.

Wanna talk about I 

Wanna talk about number one 

Oh my me mind 

What I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see 

I like talking about you, usually, but occassionally 

I wanna talk about me 

I wanna talk about me 

You you you you you you you you youyouyouyouyou 

I wanna talk about me 

I wanna talk about me 

Wanna talk about I 

Wanna talk about number one 

Oh my me mind 

What I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see 

I like talking about you, usually, but occassionally 

I wanna talk about me 

I wanna talk about me

"It's over!" Sirius cried happily.  Luckily for him, almost no one heard him over the applause that followed Snape's song.

"James, come on.  It's our turn." Lily whispered in his ear.  He immediately stood up.  Before she left though, she said the same thing to Siirus and Peter.

            Seeing the rest of his friends standing up, Remus tried to stand and follow them.  It was then that he discovered the Glue Charm James had placed on his chair.

"Um, guys?  I'm stuck." He called.

"It's okay, Remus." Lily called back. "You can't sing this song anyway."

"Why not?" he asked, slightly hurt.

"Because it's going to be dedicated to you, Moony." Sirius grinned.

"Oh no." he moaned, trying in vain to get out of his chair so he could go hide.  Unfortunately, the only way he would have been able to escape was by taking off his pants (and much as all us girls would _love to see that, I think McGonagall would give him detention if he tried it, so he can't) so he's basically stuck there until James lets him up._


	16. Can't Fight The Moonlight

A/N- Okay, forgive me if I screwed this song up, I've never heard it before, so I did my best.  I've received so many requests for this that I finally found a way to include it.  In fact, I think I've had more requests for this song than any other, from both this fic and the previous one.  Hope everyone likes it though!

            Remus was still making a valiant effort to get out of his chair while his friends headed towards the stage.  He wished the chair wasn't magically bolted to the floor, otherwise he would have just walked out of the Hall, still attached to it if necessary.  At the moment, he was trying to figure out if he would be able to run out of the Hall fast enough if he actually did take off his pants and run for it.  He was about to do just that when Dumbledore walked onto the stage again, and Remus realized it was too late.

"Next we have Lily Evans, Sirius Black, James Potter, and Peter Pettigrew singing Can't Fight The Moonlight." Dumbledore said to the waiting students. "And they have dedicated this to 'the best friend we could have asked for, Remus "Moony" Lupin'."

            Remus was rapidly turning red as a few students turned to look at him.  The Marauders, meanwhile, were walking out onstage as the beginning chords of the song began to play.

Lily-

Under a lover's sky

Gonna be with you

And no one's gonna be around

If you think that you won't fall

Well just wait until

'Til the sun goes down

Underneath the starlight, starlight

There's a magical feeling so right

It will steal your heart tonight

All-

You can try to resist 

Lily-

Try to hide from my kiss

But you know, 

All-

but you know

That you can't fight the moonlight

Deep in the dark

You'll surrender your heart

But you know, but you know

That you can't fight the moonlight 

No...

You can't fight it...

It's gonna get to your heart

Lily-

There's no escaping love

Once a gentle breeze

Weaves its spell upon you heart

No matter what you think

It won't be too long

'Til you're in my arms

Underneath the starlight, starlight

We'll be lost in the rhythm so right

Feel it steal your heart tonight

All-

You can try to resist 

Lily-

Try to hide from my kiss

But you know, 

All-

but you know

That you can't fight the moonlight

Deep in the dark

You'll surrender your heart

But you know, but you know

That you can't fight the moonlight 

No...

You can't fight it...

No matter what you do

The night is gonna get to you

Sirius-

Don't try your never gonna win

James-

Underneath the starlight, starlight

Lily-

There's a magical feeling so right

Peter-

It will steal your heart tonight

All-

You can try to resist 

Lily-

Try to hide from my kiss

But you know, 

All-

but you know

That you can't fight the moonlight

Deep in the dark

You'll surrender your heart

James, Sirius, and Peter-

But you know, but you know

That you can't fight the moonlight 

No...

You can't fight it...

All-

You can try to resist 

Lily-

Try to hide from my kiss

But you know, 

All-

don't you know

That you can't fight the moonlight

Deep in the dark

You'll surrender your heart

But you know, but you know

That you can't fight the moonlight 

No...

You can't fight it...

Lily-

It's gonna get to your heart

            Only Lily and the Marauders actually knew the hidden message of the song, but the rest of the school thought it was a sweet song anyway, so they applauded.  Remus was a bright red by this time, almost the exact same shade as the red used in all the Gryffindor banners.  Even if he was a bit embarrassed, their singing that song had really touched him (isn't he cute everyone?).  He couldn't seem to find the right words once they had sat back down with him.

"Guys, I...that was..."

"You're welcome, Remus." Lily smiled and hugged him, sparing him from trying to find the right words.  They silently told him that they knew exactly what he wanted to say.

"Thanks." He finally managed to say.

"Group hug!" Sirius cried.  Everyone looked at him like he was insane (which he was), but nonetheless obeyed.

"You guys are the greatest." Remus laughed.

"I know." Sirius grinned, causing everyone else to roll their eyes.

"Hey, can anyone see who's next?" Peter asked.

"I can.  But you aren't going to believe it." Lily replied, peering around a few heads.

"Try us." James said.

"I'm telling you, you won't believe me.  You have to see it for yourselves." Lily insisted.  Shrugging, the four boys stood up to get a look and almost sat back down again in shock.

It was Professor Dumbledore.


	17. In A Different Light

A/N- Mwahahahaha!  That was so evil of me, wasn't it?  But it's so much fun to leave you guys hanging like that.  Anyway, a couple people have asked me if they can do an story similar to this.  My answer is, it's fine with me.  I don't mind at all if anyone would like to copy this idea.  If anyone wants to steal this, be my guest.  It's only valued at about 75 cents on Ebay anyway ;)

"Well, you all have made this look like so much fun, I've decided to give it a try." Dumbledore smiled. "I won't be entering the contest, of course, being the announcer.  But I'd like to sing anyway."

            He was met with stunned silence.  And I mean the _entire __school was silent.  That usually only happens when they're all asleep, sometimes not even then, because Peeves is still up making a racket, and Filch is off yelling at him.  But now, everyone was __absolutely silent.  You know, that really cool silence when you hear the crickets chirping in the background?  Well, actually, there were no crickets chirping, because __they had been stunned to silence too.  In fact, everything was silent until the music started playing and Dumbledore started singing._

Dumbledore-

Every morning I watch you walk into the office

In your business suit and matching shoes

With your hair put up neatly you tug at your glasses

            _"Does anyone else notice that he seems to be looking at Professor McGonagall a lot?" James asked innocently._

_            "Ew.  Ew, ew, ew__." Sirius muttered, burying his face in his hands._

_            "What's wrong with that?" Lily asked. "I think they'd make a sweet couple."_

_            "I really didn't need to hear that." James said, mimicking Sirius' behavior._

And you sit down, just three desks down

And I watch you in the fluorescent glare

And my mind drifts away somewhere

And I see you in a different light

With your hair falling down, with love in your eyes

In my mind, you're a beautiful sight

I see you in a different light

Just the way I say you last night

            _"He's looking at you again, Minerva." Madame Pomfrey whispered.  The two of them were sitting with the other teachers on the far side of the room._

_            "Hush, Poppy." McGonagall hissed, hoping she wasn't blushing._

Well there's girls at the office the guys always notice

When they walk by, but you're not the type

They don't know what I know, how some things just don't show

Through tailored tweats, and that's fine with me

Let them all think what they want to 

As for me when I look at you

I see you in a different light

With your hair falling down, with love in your eyes

In my mind, you're a beautiful sight

I see you in a different light

Just the way I say you last night

Baby it's you in a different light

With your hair falling down, with love in your eyes

In my mind, you're a beautiful sight

I see you in a different light

Just the way I say you last night

"That...was...weird." James said slowly.

"Truly disturbing." Sirius added. "I never thought I would see the Headmaster up on stage singing."

"He has a nice voice." Lily commented.  Everyone stared at her oddly. "What?"

"Sirius, you know how you said that was disturbing?" Remus asked suddenly.

"Yeah." Sirius said slowly, not sure if he liked the direction this was going.

"Want to know something more disturbing?"

"That depends." He replied, almost positive he didn't want to know now.

"McGonagall is blushing and staring at Professor Dumbledore."

"Oh God." Peter mumbled.

"Yes?" Sirius asked.

"You aren't God!  Get it through your head!" Lily cried, hitting Sirius in the head.

"Oww.  That hurt." Sirius moaned.

"It was supposed to."

"Who's next?" Peter asked, trying to look around the sea of heads in front of him.

"Looks like Malfoy." James replied, craning his neck.

"Oh Goody." Sirius said sarcastically.


	18. Shameless

A/N- How many people did I scar with that last song? ::waits while people raise their hands:: Cool!  I don't know why I did that, I just thought it would be fun to scare the Marauders.  Anyway, this song was suggested by "guess", which is kind of weird, because I'd planned to do this song the whole time.  Oh well, hope you like it anyway.

"Do you think it would be possible to put the Full Body Bind on Malfoy, stuff him in a closet, and keep him from singing that way?" James asked.

"Probably not.  Snape would find him.  You know how he's always following us around." Sirius snarled.

"We could do the same to Snape." James said hopefully.

"True." Sirius replied, grinning.

"And how exactly do you plan to lure them out of here to do that?" Lily asked. "You certainly can't in front of all the teachers, and they'd never follow you anywhere."

"You know, you _always ruin my fun." Sirius told her._

"I just asked a simple question.  Why, was it too complex for you Padfoot?" she smiled.  Sirius would have replied, but he suddenly remembered the last time he pissed her off, and decided he didn't want to do it again.  No way was he going to wear a skirt and tights again.

"Next up we have Lucius Malfoy singing Shameless." Dumbledore announced to the school. "And he says this song is dedicated to Narcissa Stevens, whom he hopes will forgive him."

Malfoy-

Well I'm shameless, when it comes to loving you  
I'll do anything you want me to   
I'll do anything at all.   
  
And I'm standing here for all the world to see  
Oh baby, that's what's left of me   
Don't have very far to fall   
  
You know now I'm not a man who's ever been   
Insecure about the world I've been living in   
I don't break easy, I have my pride 

_            "Way too much pride, in fact." Remus said._

  
But if you need to be satisfied   
  
I'm shameless, oh honey, I don't have a prayer  
Every time I see you standin' there   
I go down upon my knees.   
  
And I'm changing, swore I'd never compromise  
Oh, but you convinced me otherwise  
I'll do anything you please.   
  
You see in all my life I've never found   
What I couldn't resist, what I couldn't turn down

_            "Or couldn't buy for that matter." Peter muttered._

  
I could walk away from anyone I ever knew   
But I can't walk away from you.   
  
I have never let anything have this much control over me   
I work too hard to call my life my own   
I have never let anything have this much control over me  
I work too hard to call my life my own 

_            "Malfoy?  Work?" Sirius snorted._

  
And I've made myself a world and it's worked so perfectly  
But it's your world now, I can't refuse   
I've never had so much to lose   
Oh, I'm shameless.   
  
You know it should be easy for a man who's strong   
To say he's sorry or admit when he's wrong   
I've never lost anything I've ever missed   
But I've never been in love like this.   
  
It's out of my hands.   
  
I'm shameless, I don't have the power now  
I don't want it anyhow   
So I got to let it go.   
  
Oh, I'm shameless, shameless as a man can be  
You make a total fool of me 

_            "Yes, her little song certainly did that, didn't it?" Lily smiled._

  
I just wanted to you to know.   
  
Oh, I'm shameless, I just wanted you to know   
Oh, I'm shameless, Oh, I'm down on my knees   
  
Shameless!

"Can anyone see where Narcissa is?" Remus asked as Malfoy disappeared from the stage. 

"Nope." Peter replied.

"There she is." Lily said, pointing across the room to where Narcissa was now kissing Lucius.

"Think that means she's forgiven him?" Sirius asked innocently.

"No, I'm sure it means she hates his guts and never wants to see him again." James said sarcastically.

"Oh, ok." Sirius said.  They were all silent a moment, waiting for the next entry to head for the stage.  Then, Sirius suddenly started smiling.  Lily was the first to notice (she seems to have a sort of ESP for when Sirius is plotting something).

"Uh oh." She said, staring at Sirius. "He's smiling again.  This is never a good sign."

"Why Lily, dear, whatever do you mean?" Sirius asked, flashing a sexy smile at her and trying to look innocent.  The key word there would be "trying."

"Whatever it is, count me in." James grinned.

"Us too." Peter added.

"Come on, we can get ready while the next person is singing." Sirius said, jumping from his seat.  James and Peter quickly followed.  Remus tried to follow, but he'd forgotten about the glue charm that was still on him, so he didn't get very far.

"Guys!" Remus called frantically. "Guys, come back!"

"Come on Moony." Siirus called back, not knowing why Remus was still sitting down. "Hurry up."

"I can't!  James' glue charm is still on me." He shouted back.

"Oops.  And I don't remember the counter charm either." James said.

"What do you mean you don't remember the counter charm?!"

"Calm down, Remus.  _I know it." Lily said, casting the counter charm immediately.  Remus breathed a sigh of relief once he was able to stand again._

"Lily, please forgive me, but I'm going to have to kill your boyfriend." He said, running after James and the others.


	19. All Star

A/N- Okay, this song was requested a while ago, and since I needed another Hufflepuff song (I kinda ignored them for a while) I decided to put it here while we wait for the Marauders to sing their next song.

"You won't kill me, Moony.  I'm far too loveable." James grinned as he dodged away from Remus.  Sirius and Peter promptly burst into fits of laughter.  James glared at them as the next entry walked towards the stage.

"Hmm.  Looks like Hufflepuff is entering again." Lily mused, as she watched the three boys walking up towards the stage.

"Next, Harvey Abbott, Amos Diggory, and Jonathon Finch-Fletchley will be singing All Star." Dumbledore announced.

Amos-

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me  
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed  
She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb  
In the shape of an "L" on her forehead  
Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming  
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running  
Didn't make sense not to live for fun

            "Exactly!" Sirius said.

  
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb  
So much to do so much to see  
So what's wrong with taking the back streets?  
You'll never know if you don't go  
You'll never shine if you don't glow

All Three-  
Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play  
Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid  
And all that glitters is gold  
Only shooting stars break the mold

Harvey-  
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder

You're bundled up now but wait 'til you get older  
But the meteor men beg to differ  
Judging by the hole in the satellite picture

            "What's a satellite picture?" Peter asked Remus.  Remus only sighed in response.

  
The ice we skate is getting pretty thin  
The waters getting warm so you might as well swim  
My world's on fire how about yours  
That's the way I like it and I never get bored  
  


All-

Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play  
Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid  
And all that glitters is gold  
Only shooting stars break the mold  
  


Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play  
Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid  
And all that glitters is gold  
Only shooting stars break the mold

Jonathon-  
Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas

            "Gas?  Gas for what?" James asked.

            "Cars." Remus replied.

            "What are cars?"

            "Muggle things." He sighed.

  
I need to get myself away from this place  
I said yep what a concept  
I could use a little fuel myself  
And we could all use a little change  
Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming  
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running  
Didn't make sense not to live for fun  
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb  
So much to do so much to see  
So what's wrong with taking the back streets  
You'll never know if you don't go  
You'll never shine if you don't glow  
  


All-

Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play  
Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid  
And all that glitters is gold  
Only shooting stars break the mold

"  
  



	20. The Snake Song

A/N- Most of you probably won't know this song.  Its off my Billy Gilman cd, and when I heard "snake" I immediately thought of Slytherin.

"This ought to be interesting." Lily smiled as she watched her friends walking towards the stage.  James, almost as if he sensed what she was thinking, flashed a smile down at her as Dumbledore announced them.

"And now we have James Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew singing The Snake Song." Dumbeldore informed the school. "They say this song is dedicated to 'Goldilocks'."

            Even from across the room, Lily could see Lucius Malfoy turn red with anger at hearing the hated nickname the Marauders had given him.  Oh yes, Lily thought, this is about to get _very interesting._

James-

He swallered a frog and hollered yum-yum  
He slid down the hillside and darted his tongue  
  


Remus-

He entered the garden on this bright moonlight night   
Then he stopped in his tracks, it was love at first sight  
  
All-

He said my skin is black, your skin is green   
You dwell in a garden, I live by a stream  
Although I'm short and stocky and you're long and lean   
I've got a crush on you   
Then he squeezed her tighter and tighter and tighter   
I've got a crush on you   
  
Sirius-

He said I'm a king snake, and you'll be my queen   
With a butler and serpents, and your own private stream  
  


Peter-

If you refuse me it would be such a shame  
Cause I'm so tired of doing my own thang   
  
Then he squeezed her tighter   
To excite her and delight her   
Oh I've got a crush on you   
  


Remus-

and I'll be back tomorrow  
  


Peter-  
Next day when he got there, a two-legged man  
Was holding sweet green thing in his big human hand   
  


Sirius-

A long jet of water shot out of her nose  
Ol' king snake had fallen in love with a hose   
  
All-

He said my skin is black, your skin is green   
You dwell in a garden, I live by a stream  
Although I'm short and stocky and you're long and lean   
I've got a crush on you   
Then he squeezed her tighter and tighter and tighter   
I've got a crush on you   
  


Sirius-

But I don't think it's gonna work out...

"You do realize Malfoy's going to kill you for that." Lily said as her friends rejoined her.

"Why, my dear Lily, that was the point." Sirius grinned.

"Hey, you know what?" Remus began, looking across the room at Malfoy. "I think he's turned almost the exact same shade as Lily's hair."

"You know, you're right." James grinned.  As they watched, Malfoy leaned over and whispered something to Snape, who nodded.  They both stood up and began walking towards the stage.

"And thus begins round two of the song wars." Lily said.

"What the Hell?" Peter said softly, his eyes watching the stage.  The other four looked towards the stage, their eyes widening in shock when they saw who would be singing next.

It was Argus Filch.

A/N 2-Mwahahaha!  Don't you hate it when I do this?


	21. Every Breath You Take

A/N- Mwahaha!  Filch is going to sing!  Please scream and run around in circles like a panicked mob.  Don't mind me, I've just had one too many York Peppermint Patties (Get the sensation! Whoohoo!).  And once again, if anyone would like to steal this idea from me and do your own twist, you're welcome to it.  Just be sure to give me credit or let me know or something, so I can read it.

"And now we will have Mr. Argus Filch singing Every Breath You Take (I changed quite a few lyrics.  I haven't heard this song for a while, so not all the lyrics may match)." Dumbledore announced.

            There was a collective gasp from the entire school when they realized Filch was about to sing.  It was amazing, you should have heard it.  I'm actually amazed the room didn't implode in on itself (that can happen sometimes if too many people breath in at the same time.  At least, I think so.  Don't mind me, I'm CRAZY!!!!)  A few people had gone nearly comatose too, a few teachers among them.  The ancient caretaker walked onto the stage, his equally ancient cat trailing behind him.

Filch-

Every breath you take

Every move you make

Every rule you break

Every step you take

I'll be watching you

            "Is anyone else scared yet?" Peter asked.

            "I passed scared before he even got up on stage." James said.  Sirius nodded in agreement.

            "I'm somewhere between Scared To Death and When Did I Step Into The Twilight Zone?" Lily said.

Every single day

Every word you say

Every prank you play

Every night you stay

I'll be watching you

            "Does anyone else think he's speaking specifically to us?" Remus asked.

            "Oh yeah, I'm definitely freaked out now." Sirius said.

Oh can't you see

You belong to me

When I catch you in

The act of breaking rules

Every move you make

Every rule you break

Every smile you fake

Every claim you stake

I'll be watching you

Don't you know

I can move without a trace

I roam at night

With my cat by my side

You can't hide from us

It's detention for you

Though you may run or plead

Every move you make

Every rule you break

Every smile you fake

Every claim you stake

I'll be watching you

"Everyone who thinks that was the creepiest thing you've ever seen, say Aye." James said.  He, Sirius, Remus, and Peter all said Aye, then stared blankly at Lily, who had remained silent.

"Sorry, I think Lockhart singing was far creepier." She told them.

"She has a point, you know." Remus said.

"Actually, I change my vote." James spoke up. "The creepiest thing I have ever seen was Sirius wearing that mini skirt and blouse."

"You'll pay for that one, Prongs." Sirius cried, lunging at James, who easily dodged him.  There was a brief scuffle, in which Lily got pissed off at the two of them, and Peter somehow got kicked in the ribs (good shot, guys!).  Finally, they managed to calm Sirius down (Mostly by Lily threatning him with another mini skirt incident) and sat down to see Malfoy and Snape heading towards the stage.


	22. Because I'm Evil

"And next up we have Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape singing Because I'm Evil."

"Too true, too true." James commented.

Lucius-

When the Devil is too busy   
and Death's a bit too much   
They call on me by name, you see   
for my special touch.   
  
Snape-

To the gentlemen, I'm Miss Fortune 

            "Snape thinks he's female!" Sirius cackled.

  
To the ladies I'm Sir Prize   
But call me by any name   
anyway its all the same.   
  
Both-

I'm the fly in your soup   
I'm the pebble in your shoe   
I'm the pea beneath your bed   
I'm the bump on every head   
I'm the peel on which you slip   
I'm the pin in every hip   
I'm the thorn in your side   
Makes you wriggle and writhe.   
  
Lucius-

And it's so easy when you're evil   
This is the life, you see   
The Devil tips his hat to me   
I do it all because I'm evil   
And I do it all fore free   
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need.   
  


Severus-  
While there's children to make sad   
While there's candy to be had   
While there's pockets left to pick   
While there's grannies to trip down the stairs   
I'll be there, I'll be waiting 'round the corner   
It's a game I'm glad I'm in it   
'cause there's one born every minute.   
  
Both-

I pledge my allegiance to all things dark.   
And I promise on my damned soul   
to do as I am told, Lord Beelzebub   
has never seen a soldier quite like me   
Not only does his job but does it happily.   
  
Lucius-

I'm the fear that keeps you awake   
I'm the shadows on the wall   
I'm the monsters they become   
I'm the nightmare in your skull   
  


Severus-

I'm a dagger in your back   
An extra turn upon the rack   
I'm the quivering of your heart   
A stabbing pain a sudden start.   
  
Both-

It gets so lonely being evil   
What I'd do to see a smile   
Even for a little while   
And no one loves you when you're evil   
I'm lying through my teeth   
Your tears are all the company I need.

"Okay, that was really...odd." Remus said at last.

"Odd nothing." Sirius replied. "Of course you realize, this means war."

"Thank you, Colonel Sanders (I actually don't know the guy that said that quote above, but Colonel Sanders works)." Lily said, rolling her eyes.

"I like that name actually." Sirius grinned, having absolutely no idea about the Muggle reference Lily was making. "From now on, I will be known as Colonel Sanders."

            Lily couldn't take it anymore and burst out laughing.  Sirius just stared blankly at her, as did the other Marauders, until they finally gave and and began plotting revenge against the Slytherins.


	23. Larger Than Life

A/N- Yay!  One more review and I'll have 300!  I still can't believe this is so popular.  I never even thought this was a very original idea either.  But oh well, who am I to argue with all of you?  Also, if anyone would like to steal/copy this idea (ishidagurl was one of them, I think), be my guest, just let me know first so I can read it too.  And now, let the Song War begin!  Mwahahaha!

"Perfect!" James cried as they finished their plan.  They had spent the fifteen minute break the teachers had given them altering lyrics for their song.  The teachers had decided they needed one, since they had already had more than twenty nearly non-stop entries.  It had given them just enough time to plan their revenge against the Slytherins.  After a quick charm from Lily to help them remember the words, they were hurrying towards the stage as the break ended.

"Ah, yes, now we have James Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew singing Larger Than Life." Dumbledore announced.

            The entire Gryffindor house burst into applause as the four boys took the stage.  Slytherin House, meanwhile, was booing as loud as humanly possible, but the Gryffindors, Ravenclaws, and Hufflepuffs managed to drown them out.  Quite a few girls started cheering louder when they saw what the boys were wearing.  All four were wearing identical white T-shirts.  James, Sirius, and Remus were all wearing tight jeans, the main reason why almost every girl present was cheering.  Peter was wearing loose fitting jeans (Yeah, right, like I'm putting that git in tight jeans.  You all would die of bad mental pictures).  Grinning, the four began to sing as the music started.  Sirius was cackling insanely for some odd reason, causing the other three to look at him oddly.  He merely shrugged and grinned.

Peter-

I may run and hide  
When you're screamin' my name, alright

James-

But let me tell you now  
All your threats are just lame, alright

All-  
All of our time spent in flashes of light  
  


Hey Slytherins can't you see can't you see

You're the biggest losers in reality  
Everytime we're down

Our pranks make us feel right  
And you'll still be losers for life  
  


Sirius-

Looking at the crowd  
And all the pranks that I'll play, on you  
  


Remus-

Wishin' I could play a new one every day, on you  
  


All-

Cause all of our pranks on you keep us alive  
  


Hey Slytherins can't you see, can't you see  
You're the biggest losers in reality  
Everytime we're down

Our pranks make us feel right  
And you'll still be losers for life  
All of your time spent keeps us alive  
  


Hey Slytherins can't you see, can't you see  
You're the biggest losers in reality  
Everytime we're down

Our pranks make us feel right  
And you'll still be losers for life  
  


James-  
(Yeah) every time we're down  
  


Sirius-

(Yeah) pranks make us feel right

Remus-

(Yeah) and that's what makes you losers for life

All-

Hey Slytherins can't you see, can't you see  
You're the biggest losers in reality  
Everytime we're down

Our pranks make us feel right  
And you'll still be losers

You'll still be losers

You'll still be losers for life

"Very nicely done." Lily complimented as the Marauders sat back down with them.

"Why thank you, my dear." James grinned, kissing her cheek.

"Let's see them top that." Sirius grinned.

"Well, it looks like they're about to try." Remus sighed.


	24. Be Prepared

A/N- I'm over 300 reviews now!  This is so cool!  Next goal, 325.  Andf now, let's all watch Slytherin attempt to get back at Gryffindor for that song.  As if anyone could top that last one :)

"Next we will have Lucius Malfoy, Severus Snape, George Goyle, and Christopher Crabbe singing Be Prepared." Dumbledore announced.

"Be prepared?  For what?" Peter asked.

"We probably don't want to know." Remus said.

"CONSTANT VIGILENCE!" Sirius shouted suddenly, making them all jump.  Lily immediately hit him in the shoulder.

"What are you shouting for?!" she demanded.

"Because it made you jump out of your skin." He grinned.  He started staring at the stage as though nothing unusual had just happened, making everyone else start to doubt his sanity (he has sanity?  I didn't know that).

"You're turning into your Great Uncle, Sirius." James said, rolling his eyes.

"What's wrong with my Great Uncle Al?" Sirius asked, pretending to be offended.

"Al?" Remus asked, curious.

"Short for Alastor." Sirius grinned. "See why we call him Al?"

"Yup."

"What does that have to do with you yelling like a maniac?" Peter asked.

"He's a bit paranoid.  He's always yelling Constant Vilgilence." Sirius replied, just as the two Slytherins took the stage.

Lucius-

I know that your powers of retention

Are as wet as a warthog's backside

But thick as you are, pay attention

My words are a matter of pride

Severus (glaring down at the Marauders)-

It's clear from your vacant expressions

The lights are not all on upstairs

But we're talking kings and successions

Even you can't be caught unawares

Lucius-

So prepare for a chance of a lifetime

Severus-

Be prepared for sensational news

Both-

A shining new era 

Is tiptoeing nearer

Crabbe-

And where do we feature?

Lucius-

Just listen to teacher

I know it sounds sordid

But you'll be rewarded

When at last I am given my dues!

Severus-

And injustice deliciously squared

Both-

Be prepared!

Crabbe and Goyle-

It's great that we'll soon be connected

With a king who'll be all-time adored

Severus-

Of course, quid pro quo, you're expected

To take certain duties on board

Lucius-

The future is littered with prizes

And though I'm the main addressee

The point that I must emphasize is

You won't get a sniff without me!

All-

So prepare for the coup of the century

Be prepared for the murkiest scam

Severus-

Meticulous planning

Tenacity spanning

Lucius-

Decades of denial

_            "Isn't that a river in __Egypt__?" Sirius asked suddenly.  Everyone groaned at his awful joke._

Lucius-

Is simply why I'll

Be king undisputed

respected, saluted

Severus-

And seen for the wonder I am

_            All the Marauders have started snickering at this point._

Severus-

Yes my teeth and ambitions are bared

Be prepared!

All-

Yes, our teeth and ambitions are bared

Be prepared!

"Well, that was odd." Lily said.

"Only odd?" James asked. "I'm all the way to truly bizarre."

"Bizarre nothing!  That was flat out freaky." Sirius said.

"Says Colonel Sanders." Lily said, rolling her eyes.

"That's right." Sirius said proudly. "I'm Colonel Sanders, and don't forget it."

            Sirius couldn't understand why Lily suddenly burst out laughing.


	25. Virginia Company

A/N- I am soooooo sorry I took so long to get this next entry up. I'll try not to put it off for so long next time.

  


"Women." Sirius said, rolling his eyes. Lily was still laughing over Colonel Sanders, and Sirius had given up on trying to understand why.

  


"Cme on guys." Sirius said at last. "Let's go get those rotten bunch of slimeballs back."

  


"Uh oh. Sirius is smiling that evil smile of his again." Peter said, following them. "He's plotting again, isn't he?"

  


"Very good, Peter." James said, rolling his eyes. "Sirius, I assume you have a song for us to sing?"

  


"Why of course, James. Would I drag you guys up here if I had no clue what we were going to do?" Sirius grinned, throwing his arms across James and Remus' shoulders.

  


"Yes." James, Remus, and Peter all said in unison.

  


"Okay, that's beside the point, but yes, I do have a song." Sirius said.

  


Lily had finally calmed down by the time the Marauders were ready to sing, though she immediately started giggling again when she saw them walking onto the stage. They were dressed in what looked like colonial clothing, all looking equally ridiculous.

  


"Next we will have Sirius Black, James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew singing Virginia Company." Dumbledore announced, moving off the stage so they could begin.

  


Remus-

In ninteen sixty-seven

Our group first came to be

  


Sirius-

For glory, pranks, and fun

We're The Marauder Company

  


Peter-

For Hogwarts is where we earn

Our Immortality

  


James-

By playing pranks on Slytherins

The Marauder Company

  


All-

Slytherins can not beat us

The Marauder Company

  


Remus-

In the Forbidden Forest

There's mischief all around

  


Peter-

There's lots of trouble there

And gold you pick right off a tree

  


James-

With a galleon for my Lily

And another one for me

  


Sirius-

And all the rest'll go

To The Marauder Company

  


All-

The gold will go for pranks

For The Marauder Company

  


"You four have no pride whatsoever, do you?" Lily asked as they sat down.

  


"I'm friends with Sirius and you actually have to ask?" James asked, kissing her.

  


"Hey!" Sirius protested.

  


"Sirius, you call yourself God and Colonel Sanders. He has a point." Remus said.

  


"Look, I can't help it if none of you believe I'm God."

  


"You aren't God!" Lily cried.

  


"Yeah. Now he's Colonel Sanders." Peter spoke up. Lily was reduced to a fit of giggles once again.


	26. Gimme, Gimme, Gimme

"Why do you keep laughing every time someone says Colonel Sanders?" Remus said as Lily finally managed to calm down.

  


"Because." she said, stifiling another laugh. "Colonel Sanders is from a Muggle T.V. Commercial."

  


"A what?" Peter asked.

  


"An advertisement." she explained. "He sells fried chicken for a restaurant."

  


"What!" Sirius cried. "You've been letting me call myself Colonel Sanders, _knowing_ what he really was."

  


"It was so funny I couldn't resist." Lily said, a smile tugging at her lips again.

  


"You let me go on making a fool of myself because you thought it was funny?" Sirius asked. 

  


"Well, yes." Lily said, her smile fading a bit. Sirius grinned and put his arm across her shoulders.

  


"I'm proud of you, girl. I've trained you well." he said.

  


"Hands off, Sirius." James warned laughingly.

  


"Why James, you know I would never try anything with Lily." Sirius said innocently. "Not while you were around anyway."

  


"What?!" James asked.

  


"Nothing." Sirius said innocently.

  


"Hey, look who's next." Remus interrupted.

  


"Oh no." Peter mumbled. "Not the Ravenclaw Loonies."

  


"Only two of the three." Remus said.

  


"Next we have Sybil Trelawney and Rita Skeeter singing Gimme, Gimme, Gimme." Dumbledore announced.

  


"Gimme what?" James asked. "A personality?"

  


"Yeah, because we all know James needs one." Sirius teased.

  


"Sirius!" All four of his friends yelled, hitting ihm in unison.

  


"Ow! Geez, okay, I'll be quiet." He said.

  


"Glad to hear it." James said, rolling his eyes.

  


Rita-

Half past twelve  
And I'm watching the late show in my flat all alone  
How I hate to spend the evening on my own  
  


Sybil-

Autumn winds  
Blowing outside my window as I look around the room  
And it makes me so depressed to see the gloom  
There's not a soul out there  
No one to hear my prayer  
  


Both-  
Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! A man after midnight  
  


Sybil-

Won't somebody help me chase the shadows away  
  


Both-

Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! A man after midnight  
Take me through the darkness to the break of the day  
  


Rita-  
Movie stars  
Find the end of the rainbow, with a fortune to win  
It's so different from the world I'm living in  
  


Sybil-

Tired of T.V.  
I open the window and I gaze into the night  
But there's nothing there to see, no one in sight  
There's not a soul out there  
No one to hear my prayer  
  


Both-  
Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! A man after midnight  
  


Sybil-

Won't somebody help me chase the shadows away  
  


Both-

Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! A man after midnight  
Take me through the darkness to the break of the day  
  
Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! A man after midnight  
Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! A man after midnight  
  
There's not a soul out there  
No one to hear my prayer  
  
Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! A man after midnight  
  


Rita-

Won't somebody help me chase the shadows away  
  


Both-

Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! A man after midnight  
  


Sybil-

Take me through the darkness to the break of the day  
  


Both-  
Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! A man after midnight  
Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! A man after midnight

  


"Does anyone here actually wonder that they're still single?" Sirius asked.

  


"Sirius! Not nice." Lily said.

  


"Why Lily, I'm _always_ nice."

  


"Whatever, Sirius." she said, rolling her eyes.


	27. Cheap And Evil Girl

A/N- okay, two for one deal today :)  Voting will be coming soon, probably 2-3 chapters.  Oh, and I've decided how I'm doing a sequel to this.  It won't be a contest, but it will be mostly requests, since I'm running out of good ideas anyway.  And as far as I know, it will be much longer, since I don't really have an ending planned.

            Also, my friend Lilbit has posted a story about Tom becoming Voldemort (not your usual kind of story though, this one will be different).  It's called Evil's Seduction, and I really recommend it.  Anyway, on with the singing contest.

************************

"Good Lord." Remus sighed.

"Yes?" Sirius asked.  Lily elbowed him in the side.

"Slytherin is about to sing." Remus explained, pointing towards the stage.

"Oh goody." James said sarcastically. "Why does everyone feel the need to make my ear drums suffer?"

"What do you mean, Prongs?" Sirius asked, shouting in James' ear.  James leaped about three feet in the air and punched Sirius, laughing.

"Next up, we have Severus Snape, Lucius Malfoy, Christopher Crabbe, and George Goyle." Dumbledore announced. "They have dedicated this song to Ms. Lily Evans."

"Umm.....uh oh." Lily said. "Something tells me I'm _really_ not going to like this."

"Good, I'm not the only who got that feeling." James said, relieved.

"Well, if it's anything bad, you know, of course, that we'll have to retaliate." Sirius said.

"Oh no, Sirius is plotting again." Remus moaned.

"Detention, here we come." Peter muttered.

"They will be singing Cheap and Evil Girl." Dumbledore finished, moving off the stage.

"Oh yeah, they're dead meat." James hissed.

Severus-

The cheap and evil girl sets out on the city  
She's moistened every curl, she's poisonously pretty  
And the unsuspecting fool falls prey  
As the dim detective's led astray  
  


Lucius-

Genuflecting boys all say,  
"The cheap and evil girl will get her way" 

            _Lily began sinking behind her chair, wishing she could just disappear.  Sirius was muttering profanities towards the Slytherins under his breath.  James, meanwhile, was slowly turning red with fury._

All-

The cheap and evil girl  
The cheap and evil girl  
The cheap and evil girl 

Lucius-

The cheap and evil girl dances if you're worthy  
She teases every twirl, she's deviously dirty, yeah  
  


_            "Uh oh, Sirius, quick." Remus said suddenly. "Hold James."_

_            James had just started to stand up when Remus and Sirius managed to hold him down and force him back into his seat._

_            "Let me go.  I'm going to kill them." James hissed._

_            "And get expelled in the process?" Remus asked._

_            "Besides, better to do it when there are no witnesses." Sirius pointed out._

Severus-

And you fantasize about the ample  
Milky thighs you'd like to sample  
  


_            "Okay, that's it.  Let me go." James cried, trying to stand up again.  But Remus and Sirius managed to hold him in his chair, even though they really wanted to go after the Slytherins also.  Lily, right now, was hunched over, pretending she was anywhere but in that room, hoping no one was looking at her.  Peter was trying (but not exactly succeeding) to make her feel better._

Lucius-

Vocalize to her example  
Deep, illegal sighs - Oh! It's a scandal 

All-

The cheap and evil girl  
The cheap and evil girl  
The cheap and evil girl 

Severus-

Into the club for a rub in a sauna  
Stream through the steam, there's a shot, you're a goner  
Cry as you die cause you know you still want her 

She can hypnotize  
With her evil eyes 

            _"Crap.  Peter, we may need your help too." Remus said.  James was looking murderous now, and putting up a good fight against his two friends._

_            "They **die**." James hissed. "I'm going to kill them with my bare hands.  I don't care if I go to Azkaban, it will be worth it."_

_            "James, please, be reasonable." Remus said.  To Sirius he said. "We may have to use a Glue charm on him too."_

_            "You think a little thing like that's going to stop him from tearing them apart?" Sirius asked._

Lucius-

The cheap and evil girl wears you like a locket  
She polished every pearl then she put you in her pocket, yeah  
And the undertaker hears the sounds  
Of the dumb gumshoe making his rounds  
Shaking all the wrong ones down

Both-  
Cause the cheap and evil girl will not be found 

All-

The cheap and evil girl  
The cheap and evil girl  
The cheap and evil girl 

Awh, the cheap and evil girl  
Yeah, the cheap and evil girl  
She's the cheap and evil girl  
Awh, the cheap and evil girl, girl, girl 

The cheap and evil girl  
She's the cheap and evil girl  
Awh, the cheap and evil girl  
She's the cheap and evil girl, girl, girl 

The cheap and evil girl

"Somebody just shoot me." Lily mumbled, not looking up.  She was almost as red as her hair now.

"Come on, James, deep breaths." Remus instructed. "Just calm down."

"_Stop telling me to calm down_." He hissed furiously. "They insulted Lily, and for that, they will die."

"Come on, James, you know what rule number one of the Marauders is." Sirius said. "Don't get mad, get even.  We certainly can't let them top us, especially not after what they sang."

"Too bad there isn't a way to embarrass them like they did Lily." Peter said.  Remus, James, and Sirius all stared at him. "What?"

"Wormtail, you're a genius." Sirius said, an evil grin crossing his face.

"I am?"

"Of course!" James said, a smile identical to Sirius' appearing on his face. "We could use that Charm we've been saving."

"You mean the-" Remus trailed off. "Oh Lord, you're going to get us _killed_, you _do_ realize that?"

"That's only assuming they can prove it was us." Sirius pointed out. "James, you go get your cloak and cast  the charm on them.  I'll go enter a solo and stall to give you time."

"I know just the song to do also." James grinned malevolently.

"What are you guys plotting?" Lily asked.

"Revenge, my dear." James said, kissing her. "We're going to make them pay for embarrassing you like that."

"For once, I'm not even going to try and stop you." She said. "Get them good for me."

"Don't worry, we will." Sirius said, heading towards the stage.


	28. The World Has Gone Insane

"Umm, Sirius is singing a solo?" Lily asked suddenly.

"Sure is." James replied.

"Oh Lord.  Do I want to know what he's going to sing?"

"Knowing Sirius, no." Remus replied.

"Look, he's next." Peter said, pointing towards the stage. (thank you Master of the Obvious)

"He's absolutely mental." Lily sighed.

"You're just now figuring that out?" James asked.  Lily laughed and kissed him. "Now, I have a couple Slytherins to go torment from the safety of the Invisibility Cloak."

"Good luck."

"Next, we have Sirius Black," Dumbledore announced, "He will be singing The World Has Gone Insane."

"And so has Sirius." Remus said, sending the others into a fit of laughter.

            Sirius walked out in (you guessed it girls!) tight pants and a black leather jacket.  There was almost a collective sigh of happiness from the female population of the school (and some of the readers too!).

Sirius-

The world has gone insane

And parasites are eating at my brain

And nothing is the way it was before

A pack of wolves is howling at my door

I'm living in a nonstop nightmare

Dead men's dreams

Filled with screaming pain

Hurling me to mad extremes 

In a world that's gone insane

The world has lost its head

And every evil hour is filled with dread

I'm floating on a lake

But upside down

And when I try to breath I start to drown

I cannot speak as nameless ghosts

And faceless ghouls

Bid me join the dead

No one tell these gruesome fools

That the world has lost its head

Fiendish creatures leave their graves to taunt me

Old friends risen from the dead to haunt me

God forsaken images that daunt me

Drowning in an endless flood of blood

The world has lost its mind

And everywhere I turn I fear I'll find

Some nightmare even worse than those I see

Satanic demons closing in on me

How can it be that even though they see my plight

Everyone is blind

Night is day

And day is night

In a world that's lost its mind

The world has gone berserk

And hiding in the murk

New monsters lurk

I see a sea of snakes upon the floor

I see the Reaper grinning at my door

Bad is good and good is bad

Sacred is profane

And its wiser to be mad

In a world that's gone insane!

"Oddly, it's somehow appropriate for him." Peter commented.

            James appeared suddenly beside them, slightly out of breath and looking very proud of himself.  He refused to say anything, however, until Sirius had sat down with them again.

"Well?" Sirius asked eagerly.

"It's done." James grinned.

"What did you guys do?" Lily asked.

"If we told you, it would ruin the surprise." Sirius grinned.


	29. Man! I Feel Like A Woman

A/N- All righty everyone.  This is the last entry.  The next chapter is just a recap of the entries and the voting procedures, just to make sure everyone is clear.  Enjoy the Revenge of the Marauders, and be sure to vote for your favorite songs!

"So, it's all set?" Sirius asked.

"Of course.  Didn't I just say that?" James sighed. "Unfortunately, I only had time to cast the spell on Malfoy and Snape."

"Damn." Sirius swore quietly. "Well, at least you got two of them.  I still would have liked to see Crabbe and Goyle up there also, but it's better than nothing."

"True." Remus said. "What song did you use, James?"

"You'll see." James grinned, pointing towards the stage.

"Next, Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape will be singing-" Dumbledore seemed to be stifiling a laugh now. "Singing I Feel Like A Woman."

"You chose _that song?" Sirius asked, trying very hard not to burst out laughing. "James, you are absolutely brilliant."_

"You're _just now figuring that out?" James grinned._

"Oh my God-" Lily began.

"Yes?" Siirus interrupted.  Lily hit him and continued speaking as though she hadn't heard him.

"What are they wearing?" she finished.

"Blouses and mini skirts." Remus answered.  "And heels, it looks like."

"I'm going to have nightmares about this for the rest of my life now." Peter said.

"Just try not to think about it, Peter." James advised.

"Or do what I'm doing." Sirius suggested. "Picture Lily wearing that instead."

            Both Lily and James hit Sirius for this comment, but didn't do anything else because Snape and Malfoy had just started singing.

Severus-

I'm going out tonight-I'm feelin' alright

Gonna let it all hang out

Lucius-

Wanna make some noise-really raise my voice

Yeah, I wanna scream and shout

Snape-

No inhibitions-make no conditions

Get a little outta line

Lucius-

I ain't gonna act politically correct

I only wanna have a good time

Severus-

The best thing about being a woman

Is the prerogative to have a little fun and...

Both-

Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a lady

Men's shirts-short skirts

Oh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style

Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction

Color my hair-do what I dare

Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel

Man! I feel like a woman!

Lucius-

The girls need a break-tonight we're gonna take

The chance to get out on the town

Severus-

We don't need romance-we only wanna dance

We're gonna let our hair hang down

Lucius-

The best thing about being a woman

Is the prerogative to have a little fun and...

Both-

Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a lady

Men's shirts-short skirts

Oh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style

Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction

Color my hair-do what I dare

Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel

Man! I feel like a woman!

Severus-

The best thing about being a woman

Lucius-

Is the prerogative to have a little fun and...

Both-

Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a lady

Men's shirts-short skirts

Oh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style

Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction

Color my hair-do what I dare

Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel

Man! I feel like a woman!

Severus-

I get totally crazy

Lucius-

Can you feel it

Come, come, come on baby

Both-

I feel like a woman

"C-can't breathe!" Lily gasped in between laughter.  Remus was hunched over, laughing as hard as is humanly possible.  Sirius and James had completely fallen out of their seats they were laughing so hard.

            It was at this point that the Hypnosis spell wore off of Snape and Malfoy.  They looked around at the entire Great Hall, wondering why everyone was laughing.  That was when they looked down, saw what they were wearing, and literally ran off stage.  Some fellow Slytherins were kind enough (HA!) to tell them what they had just done.

"MARAUDERS!" they both shouted in unison, their voices somehow travelling over the laughter that still rang through the Hall.  This only made the Marauders laugh even harder.  Luckily for them, the Hall was way too crowded for Snape and Malfoy to even attempt to get to them.


	30. Voting Time!!!

A/N- Just in case anyone was curious, I included the artist who originally sang the song (if I knew them, that is). I know a people had asked me about artists, so if you're curious, here they are.

            Dumbledore finally appeared back on stage, finally managing to calm the students down.

"Well, I think it would be a good idea if we started the voting now." He announced.  "Now, as you all know, we have divided the entries into three categories.  Solo, Duet, and Group.  Each of you will please vote for only one in each category.  The winners of each category will be giving an encore performance of the song."

"Yeah, yeah, let's just hurry up." Sirius said impatiently.

"You hush." Lily said, elbowing him.

"Also, at the request of the author, I have added a few caption awards." Dumbledore continued.

"Author?  What is he talking about?" James asked.

"I'm telling you, he's going senile." Sirius said, getting him elbowed by Lily again. "Ow!  Stop doing that!"

"Then stop deserving it."

"The following caption have been added: Funniest Song Overall, Meanest Song Overall, and Most Romantic Song Overall." Dumbledore went on. "The winners for these can be chosen from any category.  So, all you readers out there, when you review, you should have six choices.  One for the solo category, one for the duet category, and one for the group category, as well as what song you thought was funniest, what song you thought was the meanest, and what song you thought was most romantic."

"Okay, _who is he talking to?" Sirius asked, looking around at the ceiling (everyone wave to Sirius cuz he can't see us anyway!)_

"Who knows." Remus shrugged.

"Readers?  Reviews?" Peter asked, confused. (THERE'S a first!)

"All right, and the entries are as follows.  For the Solo category, we have: 

I'm Too Sexy (Right Said Fred) , sung by Gilderoy Lockhart of Hufflepuff

Thunder Rolls (Garth Brooks), sung by Severus Snape of Slytherin

Kiss This (Aaron Tippin), by Narcissa Stevens of Ravenclaw

What's Forever For (Billy Gilman), by Tamika Hansen of Gryffindor

I Wanna Talk About Me (Toby Keith), sung by Severus Snape of Slytherin

Shameless (Garth Brooks), sung by Lucius Malfoy of Slytherin

Every Breath You Take (Backstreet Boys), sung by Mr. Argus Filch

The World Has Gone Insane (Jekyll and Hyde Broadyway play), sung by Sirius Black of Gryffindor

"In the Duet category, we have:

Bad Reputation (Joan Jett and The Blackhearts), sung by Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape

Girl's Just Want to Have Fun (Cyndi Lauper), by Lily Evans and Sirius Black

Best Of Friends (Disney's The Fox and The Hound), by James Potter and Sirius Black

Because I'm Evil (Voltaire), by Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape

Gimme, Gimme, Gimme (A*Teens), by Rita Skeeter and Sybil Trelawney

Cheap and Evil Girl (Bree Sharp), sung by Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy

I Feel Like A Woman (Shania Twain), sung by Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy

"And finally, in the Group Category, we have:

Welcome Back My Friends (Emerson, Lake, and Palmer), by James Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew

If You Want It To Be Good Girl (Backstreet Boys), by Severus Snape, Lucius Malfoy, Christopher Crabbe, and George Goyle

Dancing Queen (A*Teens), by Narcissa Stevens, Rita Skeeter, and Sybil Trelawney

Workin' (Fraggle Rock), sung by Amos Diggory, Jonathon Finch-Fletchley, and Harvey Abbott

Unusually Unusual (Lonestar), by James Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew

My Valentine (Martina McBride), by Lily Evans, Molly Richards, and Tamika Hansen

Can't Fight The Moonlight (Leann Rimes), by Lily Evans, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and James Potter

All Star (Smashmouth), sung by Harvey Abbott, Amos Diggory, and Jonathon Finch-Fletchley

The Snake Song (Billy Gilman), by James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew

Larger Than Life (Backstreet Boys), Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, James Potter, and Sirius Black

Be Prepared (Disney's The Lion King), sung by Severus Snape, Lucius Malfoy, Christopher Crabbe, and George Goyle

Virginia Company (Disney's Pochahontas), Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and James Potter

"All right, now, go ahead and vote." Dumbledore concluded.

"Sirius, stop looking around, you look like an idiot." James sighed.

"I don't care.  I'm going to find out who he's talking to." Sirius replied, still looking around for the supposed readers Dumbledore had mentioned.

A/N Part 2- Well, you heard the Headmaster, get to voting.  Pick a best Solo, Duet, and Group, and an overall funniest, meanest, and romantic song.  Voting ends June 24th, and I'll have the results posted sometime within that week, I hope.  Happy voting!


	31. Most Romantic, Funniest, and Meanest Awa...

A/N- Okay, the votes are in! We finally get to find out who won the Singing Contest. And for anyone who has asked me this before, if you would like to do your own Singing Contest, be my guest. Just let me know so I can go review it :) Also, I will be doing a sort of sequel to this. It won't be a contest, but it will be done similar to this. It will be The Marauders' Radio Show, and will probably be mostly requests and dedications. Not sure when it will be up though, because I have so many other fics I want to work on, but I do plan on doing it, so be on the lookout. And now, over to Dumbledore with the final results.

  


"Thank you Ariana." Dumbledore smiled, taking a piece of parchment out of his pocket.

  


"Who is this Ariana he keeps talking to?" Sirius asked, scanning the room.

  


"No idea." James answered.

  


"I'm telling you, he's finally gone senile."

  


"Or maybe you're just nuts." Lily said. Sirius stuck his tongue out at her in response.

  


"First, we will have the results for the Most Romantic Song." Dumbledore said. "And in first place, we have Lily Evans, Tamika Hansen, and Molly Richards with My Valentine."

  


All three girls squealed in unison. They hurried up to the stage to sing the encore of their song. And, since they had all been sitting with their boyfriends, Lily, Tamika, and Molly all dragged James, Frank, and Arthur up on stage with them. The three stood with their girlfriends, identical looks of confusion showing on their faces. Lily smiled reassuringly at James as she began to sing.

  


Lily-

If there were no words  
No way to speak  
I would still hear you

Tamika-

If there were no tears  
No way to feel inside  
I'd still feel for you

Molly-  
And even if the sun refused to shine  
Even if romance ran out of rhyme

All-

You would still have my heart until the end of time  
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine

Molly-  
All of my life  
I have been waiting for  
All you give to me

Tamika-

You've opened my eyes  
And showed me how to love unselfishly

Lily-  
I've dreamed of this a thousand times before  
But in my dreams I couldn't love you more

I will give you my heart  
Until the end of time...

Molly-  
You're all I need, 

Tamika-

my love, 

Lily-

My Valentine

Tamika-  
And even if the sun refused to shine

Molly-  
Even if romance ran out of rhyme

Lily-  
You would still have my heart until the end of time

All-

'Cause all I need is you, my Valentine  
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine

  
  


"Kiss them!" Sirius shouted up at the stage, in the brief silence that followed the song. He started chanting it over the applause, and Peter and Remus of course joined in. Soon, half of Gryffindor was chanting.

  
  


"Give the people what they want, I say." Lily said, smiling mischeviously. She planted a kiss right on James' lips, and Tamika and Molly immediately followed suit. The applause only increased. Smiling, the three couples took their seats again and waited for Dumbledore to announce the next category.

  
  


"Now we will move on to the Funniest Song." he said, after everyone had fallen silent. "And the winners are...Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy for I Feel Like A Woman."

  
  


This simple sentence sent almost the entire school into uncontrollable laughter. Snape and Malfoy were distinctly red in the face now, refusing to budge from their chairs. Until Sirius shouted over to them that is.

  
  


"Congratulations gits!" he shouted over the crowd to them. Immediately, they sprung out of their seats, trying to fight through the audience to get to them.

  
  


"Geez." Sirius said. "We helped them win, you'd think they'd at least be a little grateful."

  
  


"You four are dead meat!" Malfoy shouted, still making a valiant attempt to get to the Marauders.

  
  


"Right then. James, hit him." Sirius said, nodding his head towards Malfoy. Immediately, James pulled out his wand, aimed it at Malfoy and Snape, and muttered the Hypnosis Charm again. They calmed down when it hit them, then turned and walked up on stage amidst the laughter that filled the room.

  
  


Severus-

I'm going out tonight-I'm feelin' alright

Gonna let it all hang out

Lucius-

Wanna make some noise-really raise my voice

Yeah, I wanna scream and shout

Snape-

No inhibitions-make no conditions

Get a little outta line

Lucius-

I ain't gonna act politically correct

I only wanna have a good time

Severus-

The best thing about being a woman

Is the prerogative to have a little fun and...

Both-

Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a lady

Men's shirts-short skirts

Oh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style

Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction

Color my hair-do what I dare

Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel

Man! I feel like a woman!

Lucius-

The girls need a break-tonight we're gonna take

The chance to get out on the town

Severus-

We don't need romance-we only wanna dance

We're gonna let our hair hang down

Lucius-

The best thing about being a woman

Is the prerogative to have a little fun and...

Both-

Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a lady

Men's shirts-short skirts

Oh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style

Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction

Color my hair-do what I dare

Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel

Man! I feel like a woman!

Severus-

The best thing about being a woman

Lucius-

Is the prerogative to have a little fun and...

Both-

Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a lady

Men's shirts-short skirts

Oh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style

Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction

Color my hair-do what I dare

Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel

Man! I feel like a woman!

Severus-

I get totally crazy

Lucius-

Can you feel it

Come, come, come on baby

Both-

I feel like a woman

  


The charm wore off sooner this time, but before they had time to remember that they had been trying to kill the Marauders before being hit with the Charm, Lily had cast a Memory Charm at them, making them completely forget about wanting to kill them. Without so much as a word, Snape and Malfoy returned to their seats.

  
  


"Nice aim Lily." James complimented.

  
  


"Thanks." she grinned.

  
  


"And finally, for the Meanest Overall song," Dumbledore began. "We have Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape with Cheap and Evil Girl."

  
  


Again, it took Peter, Remus, and Sirius to keep James from going after Snape, Crabbe, Goyle and Malfoy as they made their way up to the stage. He was positively fuming by the time they started to sing.

  


Severus-

The cheap and evil girl sets out on the city  
She's moistened every curl, she's poisonously pretty  
And the unsuspecting fool falls prey  
As the dim detective's led astray

Lucius-

Genuflecting boys all say,  
"The cheap and evil girl will get her way" 

_Lily was sinking down in her chair once again, looking near tears. James was roughly the same shade of red as the Gryffindor banners, looking at the four Slytherins in pure venom._

All-

The cheap and evil girl  
The cheap and evil girl  
The cheap and evil girl 

Lucius-

The cheap and evil girl dances if you're worthy  
She teases every twirl, she's deviously dirty, yeah

  


Severus-

And you fantasize about the ample  
Milky thighs you'd like to sample

  


_At this point, Lily couldn't take anymore. Silently, she stood and hurried out of the hall, unnoticed by most of the students. James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus, however, did notice. Not hesitating a second, James got up and followed her._

Lucius-

Vocalize to her example  
Deep, illegal sighs - Oh! It's a scandal 

All-

The cheap and evil girl  
The cheap and evil girl  
The cheap and evil girl 

Severus-

Into the club for a rub in a sauna  
Stream through the steam, there's a shot, you're a goner  
Cry as you die cause you know you still want her 

She can hypnotize  
With her evil eyes 

Lucius-

The cheap and evil girl wears you like a locket  
She polished every pearl then she put you in her pocket, yeah  
And the undertaker hears the sounds  
Of the dumb gumshoe making his rounds  
Shaking all the wrong ones down

Both-  
Cause the cheap and evil girl will not be found 

All-

The cheap and evil girl  
The cheap and evil girl  
The cheap and evil girl 

Awh, the cheap and evil girl  
Yeah, the cheap and evil girl  
She's the cheap and evil girl  
Awh, the cheap and evil girl, girl, girl 

The cheap and evil girl  
She's the cheap and evil girl  
Awh, the cheap and evil girl  
She's the cheap and evil girl, girl, girl 

The cheap and evil girl

  


  


"Drop dead, Slytherin scum!" Sirius shouted at them. Okay, so he didn't say _that_, but what he did say isn't appropriate for a PG-13 rating, so I can't repeat it.

  


"And, since you won the Meanest song category, for obvious slander against another student." McGonagall said, suddenly appearing on stage (don't ask me why she's up there, just go along with it). "All four of you will be serving tonight."

  


"Ha!" Remus cried, bursting out into laughter. He was quickly followed by Sirius and Peter.

  


As McGonagall left the stage, towing the four Slytherins, James and Lily returned. James had managed to calm Lily down enough that she was willing to come back inside.


	32. Group, Duet, and Solo Winners

"Next, in the group category, third place goes to Sirius Black, James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew for Virginia Company." Dumbledore announced.

  


"Go us!" Sirius cried, grinning.

  


"In second place, we have Sirius Black, James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew again, for Larger Than Life."

  


"Two in a row." Remus grinned. "Think we can go three for three?"

  


"And in first place in the group category, we have Sirius Black, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, and Lily Evans, for Can't Fight The Moonlight." Dumbledore finished.

  


"Awesome!" Peter grinned.

  


Seconds later, the four of them were on stage. Remus couldn't help grinning from his seat as they started singing.

  


Lily-

Under a lover's sky

Gonna be with you

And no one's gonna be around

If you think that you won't fall

Well just wait until

'Til the sun goes down

Underneath the starlight, starlight

There's a magical feeling so right

It will steal your heart tonight

All-

You can try to resist 

Lily-

Try to hide from my kiss

But you know, 

All-

but you know

That you can't fight the moonlight

Deep in the dark

You'll surrender your heart

But you know, but you know

That you can't fight the moonlight 

No...

You can't fight it...

It's gonna get to your heart

Lily-

There's no escaping love

Once a gentle breeze

Weaves its spell upon you heart

No matter what you think

It won't be too long

'Til you're in my arms

Underneath the starlight, starlight

We'll be lost in the rhythm so right

Feel it steal your heart tonight

All-

You can try to resist 

Lily-

Try to hide from my kiss

But you know, 

All-

but you know

That you can't fight the moonlight

Deep in the dark

You'll surrender your heart

But you know, but you know

That you can't fight the moonlight 

No...

You can't fight it...

No matter what you do

The night is gonna get to you

Sirius-

Don't try your never gonna win

James-

Underneath the starlight, starlight

Lily-

There's a magical feeling so right

Peter-

It will steal your heart tonight

All-

You can try to resist 

Lily-

Try to hide from my kiss

But you know, 

All-

but you know

That you can't fight the moonlight

Deep in the dark

You'll surrender your heart

James, Sirius, and Peter-

But you know, but you know

That you can't fight the moonlight 

No...

You can't fight it...

All-

You can try to resist 

Lily-

Try to hide from my kiss

But you know, 

All-

don't you know

That you can't fight the moonlight

Deep in the dark

You'll surrender your heart

But you know, but you know

That you can't fight the moonlight 

No...

You can't fight it...

Lily-

It's gonna get to your heart

  


"And now, onto the Duet category." Dumbledore continued after they had sat down. "In third place is I Feel Like A Woman, by Lucius Lamfoy and Sverus Snape."

  


"Damn, I would have _loved_ to see them have to do that again." Sirius grinned.

  


"In second place, is Sirius Black and Lily Evans for Girls Just Wanna Have Fun."

  


"And I would have _loved_ to see that again." Remus laughed.

  


"Over my dead body." Sirius muttered.

  


"Aww, you're no fun Sirius." Lily laughed.

  


"And in first place, James Potter and Sirius Black singing Best Of Friends."

  


"Let's go, Jamesie Boy." Sirius grinned, heading for the stage.

  


"Jamesie boy!" James cried, jumping up and chasing after him. "Come back here you."

  


"You can kill me after the song." Sirius laughed.

  


"Try and make me wait." James grinned as the music began.

  


James-

When you're the best of friends

Having so much fun together

You're not even aware, you're such a funny pair

You're the best of friends 

Sirius-

Life's a happy game

You could clown around forever

Neither one of you sees, your natural boundaries

Life's one happy game 

Both-

If only the world wouldn't get in the way

If only people would just let you play

They say you're both being fools

You're breaking all the rules

They can't understand your magic wonderland

Hu-hu-hu

James-

When you're the best of friends

Sharing all that you discover

When that moment has passed, will that friendship last?

Sirius-

Who can say if there's a way?

Oh I hope . . . I hope it never ends 

Both-

'Cause you're the best of friends

  


"That song is still adorable." Lily said as they sat back down. 

  


"Just like me." Sirius grinned. Lily simply rolled her eyes and kissed James' cheek.

  


And finally, for the Solo category." Dumbledore announced. "In third place, we have Severus Snape with Thunder Rolls."

  


The only applause for that one came from Slytherin house.

  


"Ugly, slimly, nasty, smug little git." Sirius muttered.

  


"In second place, we have Mr. Argus Filch with Every Breath You Take."

  


Okay, right here, there was one of those cricket chirping silences. The student body was too stunned to react immediately. Luckily, one of the teachers started applauding and snapped everyone back to reality. The applause quickly spread until Dumbledore began to speak again.

  


"And in first place, is Sirius Black with The World Has Gone Insane."

  


"YES!" Sirius cheered. Lily and the other Marauders started congratulating him as Dumbledore motioned for him to come up on stage and sing an encore. He went up, grinning like a maniac.

  


Sirius-

The world has gone insane

And parasites are eating at my brain

And nothing is the way it was before

A pack of wolves is howling at my door

I'm living in a nonstop nightmare

Dead men's dreams

Filled with screaming pain

Hurling me to mad extremes 

In a world that's gone insane

The world has lost its head

And every evil hour is filled with dread

I'm floating on a lake

But upside down

And when I try to breath I start to drown

I cannot speak as nameless ghosts

And faceless ghouls

Bid me join the dead

No one tell these gruesome fools

That the world has lost its head

Fiendish creatures leave their graves to taunt me

Old friends risen from the dead to haunt me

God forsaken images that daunt me

Drowning in an endless flood of blood

The world has lost its mind

And everywhere I turn I fear I'll find

Some nightmare even worse than those I see

Satanic demons closing in on me

How can it be that even though they see my plight

Everyone is blind

Night is day

And day is night

In a world that's lost its mind

The world has gone berserk

And hiding in the murk

New monsters lurk

I see a sea of snakes upon the floor

I see the Reaper grinning at my door

Bad is good and good is bad

Sacred is profane

And its wiser to be mad

In a world that's gone insane!

  


"That song is so perfectly Sirius." Lily laughed. He caught up to them as the students filed out of the Great Hall.

  


"And again." he grinned. "I was in the winning entry for all three categories."

  


"There goes his ego again." Remus said, rolling his eyes.

  


"Hey, I'm allowed to have an ego." Sirius protested. "I am God after all."

  


"Sirius, the next time you say that, I swear I'm going to kill you." Lily threatened.

  


"Sirius, quick, come with me." James said suddenly, dragging him off. Lily, Peter, and Remus wacthed as they walked up to Snape and Malfoy, for once without Crabbe and Goyle right behind. Without a single word, James punched Lucius in the stomach. Sirius was quick to follow and hit Snape.

  


"You ever insult Lily like that again." James snarled at them. "And no amount of magic will be able to put your bodies back together. Come on, Sirius."

  


"Aww, can't I hit him again?" Sirius begged.

  


"McGonagall's coming." Peter called to them.

  


"Never mind. Run!" Sirius cried. The five of them ran off laughing.


End file.
